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Thursday, October 20, 2005

Top Ten Perks Of Getting Into The World Series
  
"Another two weeks of wearing a cup and showering with guys"
"Get to visit exotic, far-off destinations like Illinois"
"More time to discuss with team doctor if Cialis is right for me"
"With the discount, beer is only 18 bucks"
"It's fine and all, but the good news is, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico"
"Certificate good for one free groin pull"
"I get to appear on my favorite Late Night program---'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'"
"World Series MVP gets to throw switch at Saddam's execution"
"Clemens used his AARP card to get us cheap hotel rooms"
"If Steinbrenner wants me next year, my price is now a billion dollars"
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"Babes who can't get to Derek Jeter try for us"

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"I can rebroadcast or retransmit accounts of the games without express written consent of Major League Baseball"

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"Last night Jose Canseco injected some champagne in my ass"

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"Another week of free gatorade!!!"

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"If we win, we get a locker room call from the greatest leader to come out of Texas - Dr. Phil"

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"Opportunity to play in Yankee Stadium...Oh wait, they got eliminated"

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