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Monday, February 27, 2006

Top Ten H&R Block Excuses
  
"Instead of CPA training, employees got CPR training"
"Forgot to carry the one 32 million times"
"For years we've been secretly funding Hamas"
"H was out sick that day and R was on jury duty"
"We were using Martha Stewart's guy"
"Were testing the world's first accounting monkey"
"Come on, it's a couple of dollars. It's not like we shot a guy in the face..."
"Hard to stay focused when you've been drinking since April 16th"
"Thirty-two million dollars?! We lose that much on a good day"
"Hoping for hot make-up sex with the IRS"
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"We're not good with all that numbers stuff"

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"Gretzky's wife convinced us to put a couple Mil on Bode Miller"

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"Tax code is so confusing, you practically need a degree in accounting to understand it"

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"Could have sworn hookers were deductible"

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"Got swept up in the rebellious, fast-paced accountant lifestyle"

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"Chairman Henry Bloch has been acting odd ever since he started dating Katie Holmes"

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"Oh, like you never cheated on your taxes?"

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