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Friday, April 04, 2008

Top Ten Signs New Yorkers Are Getting Too Fat
 Top Ten   
Elevators have a maximum occupancy of one
The Statue of Liberty is now holding a cupcake
Drivers license photos larger to include all chins
Broadway's Shubert Alley renamed Kirstie Alley
Robotic voice in the subway says, "Stand clear of the closing doors, lardass"
Thousands of "potholes" are actually footprints in the pavement
97% of ATM passwords are either "fudge" or "bacon"
People becoming Yankees fans just for the slimming pinstripes
Most popular store: Gap For Tubby Dudes
New Yorkers are winded after giving the finger
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Starbucks reports customers switching from whole milk in their coffee to butter

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Hostage dramas usually include demand for several gallons of Ben & Jerry's

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Mafia now needs a dozen cinderblocks to sink a guy in the East River

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Dunkin Donuts has been charging customers rent

Kate Winslet's Cooking Injuries
With an average two wounds per meal, does Kate Winslet belong in the kitchen?
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Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy
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Okkervil River
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January 8, 2009
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