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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Top Ten Signs Your Teacher Is Drunk
 Top Ten   
Your report card is written on a damp cocktail napkin
Insists the Civil War was fought between Jack Daniel and Jim Beam
Tells class to hit the showers, but he's not a gym teacher
Every time the bell rings, he shouts, "Last call!"
Students give her an apple -- she makes Apple-tinis
By the end of the day, he's eaten three boxes of chalk
He tries to skateboard over a U-haul truck
No number 3 -- writer in jetBlue bathroom
Keeps getting his tongue stuck in the pencil sharpener
Teacher knows less about the Middle East than George W. Bush
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Replaces Pledge of Allegiance with a reading of the Budweiser ingredients

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Sounds a lot like Paula Abdul

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Instead of an apple on his desk, has a jar of olives

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Claims the three R's are Rum, Ripple, and Robitussin

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Hands class over to his imaginery teaching assistant Donny

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Keeps drunk dialing the nurse's office

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As kid drinks milk, he chants "Chug! Chug! Chug!"

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