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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Top Ten Ways John McCain Can Turn It Around
 Top Ten   
Try the old "I'll vote for you if you vote for me" trick
Inspire America by jumping Straight Talk Express over Snake River Canyon
Change name to Jorack McBama
Start wearing a cape
Step one: send Bin Laden free tickets to Giants game. Step two: when he shows up in East Rutherford, New Jersey expecting to enjoy some big blue smashmouth football: gotcha sucka!
Sizzling tango with Cloris Leachman on "Dancing With The Stars"
Put more effort into budget plan, less effort into Facebook status updates
Point out his steady leadership got us through the Great Depression
Assure voters the only poll that matters is in his pants
Get Sarah Palin to illegally fire herself
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Uh, stop being old?

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Start hangin' with one of them talking chihuahuas

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Suspend campaign until the economy recovers in about 30 years

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Maybe one of them fake tans?

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Have Palin start doing impressions of Tina Fey

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Release new line of trendy hearing aids

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Instead of boring speeches, read from hilarious Late Show Fun Facts book. Available at fine stores everywhere.

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New catch phrase: "Chillax, Broseph"

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Wear tighter slacks

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An appearance on Sabado Gigante couldn't hurt

"Late Show" Rewind: Week of November 24 - 28, 2008
Highlights of Nicole, Bruce, Reese, Dave's mom -- plus, a sneezing monkey!
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A Tony Mendez Thanksgiving
Join Tony for a holiday filled with turkey, gravy, more gravy and more!
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Top Ten Signs You're Watching a Bad Thanksgiving Day Parade
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November 28, 2008
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