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			Thursday, January 20, 2005 Show #2306
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Robert Downey, Jr.; and Nicole Richie. PLUS: Dave’s day in Dearborn; Condoleezza Rice on CNN; George W. Bush: A Look Back; and Stump the Band. It’s America’s Fastest Growing Music Sensation, it’s Stump the Band. It’s something we stole from Mr. Johnny Carson but apparently Paul got the wrong memo. He was prepared to play “Carnac.” He holds an envelope up to his forehead and gives the answer to the question sealed inside. The answer: “Super Jumbo.” Dave repeats “Super Jumbo” to underline the answer. Paul rips open the envelope and reads, “What Kirstie Alley hears after doing a good job. STUMP THE BAND #1 – Desa from South Carolina. Charleston was once the busiest seaport in North America. She is here with her husband, who is here in New York for a conference. What kind of conference? Husband Jeff explains it’s with a bunch of psychologists and psychiatrists. Desa’s song: “Garbarge Disposal Song.” Will Lee says he knows it. It went something like this: Garbage Disposal Song “Grind me up I’m your Roto-Rooter Trouble Shooter, baby Grind me up I don’t mean to talk trash but give me all your garbage baby Grind Me up down down down round and round go to the coffee grounds grind me up.” That wasn’t it. Desa sings a song which included the lines, “I like to stick my finger in the Garbage Disposal” and “you can only do it 10 times.” STUMP THE BAND #2 – Adam from Sidney, Australia. He is on vacation. 3 months in New York, then 6 weeks in Europe. Dang it! Another guy from Australia taking months off and going on vacation. How do they do it! One, how do they get the time off? Two, how do they save enough money to go without working for 3 months? WE’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG HERE IN AMERICA, PEOPLE! Adam is just back from Vegas. See what I mean? I’ve been to Vegas once in my life, and it was for one day. Adam works for The Daily Telegraph, Australia’s largest newspaper. And what song does Adam have for us? “Among the Gum Trees.” Paul thinks he has it. He first played it in Vegas at Britney Spears’ 1st wedding, the one that lasted an hour. Paul says the song was adopted from Hugo ad Luigi. Among the Gum Trees “Swingin’ in the gum trees is fab Baby can you dig it Making gummy love is a gas If you can rig it I can stick it You can lick it Sticky Wicket Wilson Pickett Chewed a Chiklit Pooh and Piglet Got into a sticky situation In the gum trees, baby Among the gum trees, baby.” Not it. But a darn good attempt. STUMP THE BAND #3 – Britney Bush from New Orleans, originally from Mississippi. She’s a dietician here on vacation. She became engage just yesterday to boyfriend, Ellis. Her song: "Lemon Drop." Paul believes it to be a Ska song and gives it a shot. Lemon Drop “I bought a car today and I got to say I think someone dropped a lemon on me. The carburetor’s shot and it’s running hot I think someone dropped a lemon on me So stop this lemon drop Back to the body shop Or send it back to the factory Yeah, you got to stop, this lemon drop Stop tying to push this junk on me” Great job. Wrong song. Britney sings her rendition and is rewarded a Songs from the Late Show CD, dinner for two, and a box of Explod-a-Pop popcorn. Britney the dietician reads the label and announces, “Good fat, lotta carbs, and plenty of sodium!” And that was Stump the Band. Fine job once again from Paul and the band. Dave congratulates and thanks Paul for a job well done yesterday filling in as the host. Where was Dave? He was in Dearborn, Michigan at the Automotive News World Congress accepting the BorgWarner Team Owner’s Trophy for Buddy Rice’s victory in the 2004 Indianapolis 500. Also accepting the team owner trophy was Bobby Rahal. Buddy Rice was awarded the BorgWarner Championship Driver’s Trophy. Dave looks forward to winning the Indianapolis 500 every year. “It’s so easy!” Dave proudly shows off his replica of the BorgWarner Team Owner’s Trophy. He says “It will either take a prominent place in my home or it’ll be destroyed by my son. Either one would be fine with me.” Condoleezza Rice is the nominee for Secretary of State and she’s been grilled during the confirmation hearings this week. Dave saw something on CNN that was really strange. We see Ms. Rice responding to a question. Her name is misspelled. The chyron operator backspaces on “Condileeza” and retypes it correctly. Or not. Again it is incorrect. Again and again the chyron operator attempts to get it right. Condolisa. Condolleesa. Condoleesa. Condilsza. Condoleeeeeeezzzzzza. I’m not sure if it was ever gotten right. Today marks the beginning of George W. Bush’s second term as President of the United States of America. What better time than now to show some of the highlights of his first four years. It’s “George W. Bush: A Look Back.” We see the montage of Bush’s bumps, trips, bumbles, and flubs. The next four years should be just as much fun. ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.: Downey’s been busy making a Disney film, The Shaggy Dog, a remake of the 1959 film starring Fred MacMurray. Robert’s has a small part. Why agree to a small part in a Disney film? Downey says it’s a good way to show people he’s “doing OK.” He’s clean and sober. If Disney feels safe with Downey, we all should. At one point in the film, he turns into a dog. Robert performs a panting dog. I closed my eyes and have to admit, it sounded just like an actor doing a panting dog. Good job! Robert vacationed in St. Bart’s and discovered everything is expensive. He played the big shot by picking up the tab for two soft drinks. The bill came to $50. Yikes. (I was in St. Bart’s for an afternoon some years back. Denise’s lunch salad and a couple drinks banged us for $75. But it was worth it. I saw a topless woman on the beach.) While on vacation, Robert’s 11-year-old son played soccer with the locals. After scoring a goal, his son was kind of attacked by an opposing player by stomping on his ankle. Robert wanted to go over there and scare the kid with some kung fu but he thought better of it, fearing the tabloids would just love to catch a “clean and sober” Robert Downey, Jr. kung fu-ing a bunch of 11-year-olds. Downey is actually practicing Wing Chun Kung Fu. He’s attained the level of a medium-blue sash. There are a lot of moves in Wing Chun, but the only you really need to learn is the Bil Jee finger thrust to the eyes. It’s very effective. I believe Mo Howard was a proponent of Wing Chun. Robert Downey, Jr. comes back later in the show to perform a song. NICOLE RICHIE: She’s in the Fox reality show, The Simple Life: Interns. Yup, when I think “simple life,” I think interning. This 3rd edition of The Simple Life finished taping today. In the first edition, Paris Hilton and Nicole lined on a farm in Arkansas. The second one took them on a road trip from Florida to California. This time around they went by Greyhound bus to one internship after another. . . . . . . Ummmm. Uhhhhhh. OK OK, I’M SORRY! I admit I missed this whole interview! We had a last second change to the ACT 5. I was running it around and missed this whole thing. I’ll report what I read in the notes and stuff. - Nicole says this was her first time ever on a bus, though she has seen them in movies. - She interned with psychics, mechanics, at a funeral home, and other insane jobs. - When at the funeral home, she would try to cheer up the despondent mourners by offering to play some Beyonce. - Paris and Nicole are always saying “That’s hot!” It sort of has become their signature. They were inspired by rappers who often say things are “hot.” ACT 5: “Now it’s time for ‘It’s Funnier When It’s Sped Up, In Black and White, and Accompanied by Piano Music.’” We see a clip of Alan Greenspan testifying before Congress. “This has been, ‘It’s Funnier When It’s Sped Up, In Black and White, and Accompanied by Piano Music.’ Tell your friends.” ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. – accompanied by cellist Cameron Stone, Robert Downey, Jr. playing piano sang “Man Like Me.” And that was our show for Thursday January 20, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA! Not only that. Now it’s being reported that Bernard Kerik illegally downloads songs off the internet. And yes, Bernie did show up at the inauguration. I knew that he would. He’s Bernie Kerik! He’s special! I had some chicken wings today. I like chicken wings but they’re not worth the work, unless you have a whole lot of them. I had 5 wings which I finished in about a minute. My cleanup took about 7 minutes. Had to go to the bathroom and scrub the barbecue sauce off my fingers, toothpick my teeth, and then brush my teeth. Checking my nails, I realized I had to redo them. So unless I’m going to have about a hundred, I’m not sure if chicken wings are worth it. Be sure to watch Friday night’s show. I make an appearance in a piece with Alan Kalter. It’s some of my best acting My weekend football predictions: I’m taking the easy way and going with the Eagles and the Patriots, although so few people are picking the Steelers that it’s starting to look like an attractive bet to me. But I’m sticking with the Pats and the Eagles. Looking ahead, I’m placing the betting line at 4 points in favor of the Patriots vs. the Eagles in the Super Bowl. 2nd biggest mall in America? From Chris Begley of Vancouver, BC Not to rub your faces in it, but the West Edmonton Mall is 5.3 Million square feet. See: http://www.westedmall.com/about/wemtrivia.asp Robert Downey, Jr.; and Nicole Richie. PLUS: Dave’s day in Dearborn; Condoleezza Rice on CNN; George W. Bush: A Look Back; and Stump the Band. It’s America’s Fastest Growing Music Sensation, it’s Stump the Band. It’s something we stole from Mr. Johnny Carson but apparently Paul got the wrong memo. He was prepared to play “Carnac.” He holds an envelope up to his forehead and gives the answer to the question sealed inside. The answer: “Super Jumbo.” Dave repeats “Super Jumbo” to underline the answer. Paul rips open the envelope and reads, “What Kirstie Alley hears after doing a good job. STUMP THE BAND #1 – Desa from South Carolina. Charleston was once the busiest seaport in North America. She is here with her husband, who is here in New York for a conference. What kind of conference? Husband Jeff explains it’s with a bunch of psychologists and psychiatrists. Desa’s song: “Garbarge Disposal Song.” Will Lee says he knows it. It went something like this: Garbage Disposal Song “Grind me up I’m your Roto-Rooter Trouble Shooter, baby Grind me up I don’t mean to talk trash but give me all your garbage baby Grind Me up down down down round and round go to the coffee grounds grind me up.” That wasn’t it. Desa sings a song which included the lines, “I like to stick my finger in the Garbage Disposal” and “you can only do it 10 times.” STUMP THE BAND #2 – Adam from Sidney, Australia. He is on vacation. 3 months in New York, then 6 weeks in Europe. Dang it! Another guy from Australia taking months off and going on vacation. How do they do it! One, how do they get the time off? Two, how do they save enough money to go without working for 3 months? WE’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG HERE IN AMERICA, PEOPLE! Adam is just back from Vegas. See what I mean? I’ve been to Vegas once in my life, and it was for one day. Adam works for The Daily Telegraph, Australia’s largest newspaper. And what song does Adam have for us? “Among the Gum Trees.” Paul thinks he has it. He first played it in Vegas at Britney Spears’ 1st wedding, the one that lasted an hour. Paul says the song was adopted from Hugo ad Luigi. Among the Gum Trees “Swingin’ in the gum trees is fab Baby can you dig it Making gummy love is a gas If you can rig it I can stick it You can lick it Sticky Wicket Wilson Pickett Chewed a Chiklit Pooh and Piglet Got into a sticky situation In the gum trees, baby Among the gum trees, baby.” Not it. But a darn good attempt. STUMP THE BAND #3 – Britney Bush from New Orleans, originally from Mississippi. She’s a dietician here on vacation. She became engage just yesterday to boyfriend, Ellis. Her song: "Lemon Drop." Paul believes it to be a Ska song and gives it a shot. Lemon Drop “I bought a car today and I got to say I think someone dropped a lemon on me. The carburetor’s shot and it’s running hot I think someone dropped a lemon on me So stop this lemon drop Back to the body shop Or send it back to the factory Yeah, you got to stop, this lemon drop Stop tying to push this junk on me” Great job. Wrong song. Britney sings her rendition and is rewarded a Songs from the Late Show CD, dinner for two, and a box of Explod-a-Pop popcorn. Britney the dietician reads the label and announces, “Good fat, lotta carbs, and plenty of sodium!” And that was Stump the Band. Fine job once again from Paul and the band. Dave congratulates and thanks Paul for a job well done yesterday filling in as the host. Where was Dave? He was in Dearborn, Michigan at the Automotive News World Congress accepting the BorgWarner Team Owner’s Trophy for Buddy Rice’s victory in the 2004 Indianapolis 500. Also accepting the team owner trophy was Bobby Rahal. Buddy Rice was awarded the BorgWarner Championship Driver’s Trophy. Dave looks forward to winning the Indianapolis 500 every year. “It’s so easy!” Dave proudly shows off his replica of the BorgWarner Team Owner’s Trophy. He says “It will either take a prominent place in my home or it’ll be destroyed by my son. Either one would be fine with me.” Condoleezza Rice is the nominee for Secretary of State and she’s been grilled during the confirmation hearings this week. Dave saw something on CNN that was really strange. We see Ms. Rice responding to a question. Her name is misspelled. The chyron operator backspaces on “Condileeza” and retypes it correctly. Or not. Again it is incorrect. Again and again the chyron operator attempts to get it right. Condolisa. Condolleesa. Condoleesa. Condilsza. Condoleeeeeeezzzzzza. I’m not sure if it was ever gotten right. Today marks the beginning of George W. Bush’s second term as President of the United States of America. What better time than now to show some of the highlights of his first four years. It’s “George W. Bush: A Look Back.” We see the montage of Bush’s bumps, trips, bumbles, and flubs. The next four years should be just as much fun. ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.: Downey’s been busy making a Disney film, The Shaggy Dog, a remake of the 1959 film starring Fred MacMurray. Robert’s has a small part. Why agree to a small part in a Disney film? Downey says it’s a good way to show people he’s “doing OK.” He’s clean and sober. If Disney feels safe with Downey, we all should. At one point in the film, he turns into a dog. Robert performs a panting dog. I closed my eyes and have to admit, it sounded just like an actor doing a panting dog. Good job! Robert vacationed in St. Bart’s and discovered everything is expensive. He played the big shot by picking up the tab for two soft drinks. The bill came to $50. Yikes. (I was in St. Bart’s for an afternoon some years back. Denise’s lunch salad and a couple drinks banged us for $75. But it was worth it. I saw a topless woman on the beach.) While on vacation, Robert’s 11-year-old son played soccer with the locals. After scoring a goal, his son was kind of attacked by an opposing player by stomping on his ankle. Robert wanted to go over there and scare the kid with some kung fu but he thought better of it, fearing the tabloids would just love to catch a “clean and sober” Robert Downey, Jr. kung fu-ing a bunch of 11-year-olds. Downey is actually practicing Wing Chun Kung Fu. He’s attained the level of a medium-blue sash. There are a lot of moves in Wing Chun, but the only you really need to learn is the Bil Jee finger thrust to the eyes. It’s very effective. I believe Mo Howard was a proponent of Wing Chun. Robert Downey, Jr. comes back later in the show to perform a song. NICOLE RICHIE: She’s in the Fox reality show, The Simple Life: Interns. Yup, when I think “simple life,” I think interning. This 3rd edition of The Simple Life finished taping today. In the first edition, Paris Hilton and Nicole lined on a farm in Arkansas. The second one took them on a road trip from Florida to California. This time around they went by Greyhound bus to one internship after another. . . . . . . Ummmm. Uhhhhhh. OK OK, I’M SORRY! I admit I missed this whole interview! We had a last second change to the ACT 5. I was running it around and missed this whole thing. I’ll report what I read in the notes and stuff. - Nicole says this was her first time ever on a bus, though she has seen them in movies. - She interned with psychics, mechanics, at a funeral home, and other insane jobs. - When at the funeral home, she would try to cheer up the despondent mourners by offering to play some Beyonce. - Paris and Nicole are always saying “That’s hot!” It sort of has become their signature. They were inspired by rappers who often say things are “hot.” ACT 5: “Now it’s time for ‘It’s Funnier When It’s Sped Up, In Black and White, and Accompanied by Piano Music.’” We see a clip of Alan Greenspan testifying before Congress. “This has been, ‘It’s Funnier When It’s Sped Up, In Black and White, and Accompanied by Piano Music.’ Tell your friends.” ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. – accompanied by cellist Cameron Stone, Robert Downey, Jr. playing piano sang “Man Like Me.” And that was our show for Thursday January 20, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA! Not only that. Now it’s being reported that Bernard Kerik illegally downloads songs off the internet. And yes, Bernie did show up at the inauguration. I knew that he would. He’s Bernie Kerik! He’s special! I had some chicken wings today. I like chicken wings but they’re not worth the work, unless you have a whole lot of them. I had 5 wings which I finished in about a minute. My cleanup took about 7 minutes. Had to go to the bathroom and scrub the barbecue sauce off my fingers, toothpick my teeth, and then brush my teeth. Checking my nails, I realized I had to redo them. So unless I’m going to have about a hundred, I’m not sure if chicken wings are worth it. Be sure to watch Friday night’s show. I make an appearance in a piece with Alan Kalter. It’s some of my best acting My weekend football predictions: I’m taking the easy way and going with the Eagles and the Patriots, although so few people are picking the Steelers that it’s starting to look like an attractive bet to me. But I’m sticking with the Pats and the Eagles. Looking ahead, I’m placing the betting line at 4 points in favor of the Patriots vs. the Eagles in the Super Bowl. 2nd biggest mall in America? From Chris Begley of Vancouver, BC Not to rub your faces in it, but the West Edmonton Mall is 5.3 Million square feet. See: http://www.westedmall.com/about/wemtrivia.asp


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