Have you seen or heard about those new TV voice-activated remote controls? I guess it's for those too lazy to click. There's a new commercial.

"Looking for an easier way to watch television? Then you'll love Agile TV's new voice-activated remote control. Here's how it works.
First, attach the Agile TV receiver to the back of your cable box.
Then, press the 'Talk' button on the remote control.
Speaking clearly into the built-in microphone, say the kind of program you'd like to watch.
Repeat your command as necessary until you see the green confirmation icon in the corner of your screen.
Next, confirm your selection by pressing 'enter'. . . .
Then, scroll through the list of results until you find the program you're looking for.
Once you find your program, select it with your key pad's arrow buttons . . .
And press 'enter.'
Or if you don't see the desired program, go back and try again using a different search term.
It's just that simple!
The voice-activated remote control from Agile TV - call your cable provider today!"

"Coming up: CNN weekend edition, featuring several hours of CNN graphics that slide, shift, and/or rotate. Plus, we've enhanced our news coverage by adding a slide whistle. (SFX of a slide whistle) CNN: The Most Trusted Name in News."

It's allergy season and it's showing. Dave went out and bought the new Jane Fonda autobiography book on tape, "My Life So Far," read by a guy with hay fever. We take a listen.

". . . . that's when I knew I had fallen in love with Ted Turner (coughs) . . . he was funny, handsome (sniffs) . . . and he always (longer sniff) . . . of, for the love of God, somebody kill me . . . we decided our wedding would be in the winter of 1991. I chose . . ."

The rest of the day, I was imaging "Fo-Shizzle" on a triple word score.

TOP TEN - Least Popular Prom Themes - It's prom season. Some of the more popular prom themes:
-Arabian Nights
-The Roaring Twenties
-Garden of Eden
-Stairway to Heaven
Some of the least popular prom themes:
#10. Enchantment Under House Arrest
#9. A Night in Rome . . . I mean . . . the Gymnasium.
#8. Next Stop - Teen Pregnancy
#7. A Magical Evening with Robert Blake
#6. Save the Last Dance for the Creepy Shop Teacher
#5. Tomorrow We Work at Arby's
#4. Welcome to the World of Herpes
#3. Eternally Seacrest
#2. I Only Have Eyes For Your Hot Friend
#1. Prelude to a Hangover.

FARRAH FAWCETT: Dressed in all black - Dave notices a ring on Farrah's thumb. Something new? She says she's had it for a long time and has worn it each time she's been here. Did it get on there by accident? How, why on the thumb? Farrah says it's a gift from an old friend; a special friend.
Dave asks about Farrah's new reality show, "Chasing Farrah," on the TV-Land channel and wonders why she would agree to allow cameras to follow her around 24 hours a day. Farrah says she did it to set the record straight and "to undo the harm you did me." Huh?
Dave was nothing but nice on all of her visits to the show. Farrah agrees, and doesn't understand all the fuss about her appearances.
Dave wonders, with cameras following you around 24 hours a day, "do we see you naked?" Farrah laughs and says, "That would cost you." Dave responds, "Well, that would be money well spent."
In "Chasing Farrah," it seems Farrah and old flame Ryan O'Neal may be rekindling the match. Farrah sort of dodges the question; doesn't deny, doesn't confirm.

Dave is curious about the TV-Land channel. "What are they like?" Farrah answers, "Oh, they are so nice." And she leaves it at that. Dave wants a bit more than that. She mentions TV-Land a few more times, then admits that she gets paid something each time she says "TV-Land." Oooh, I like that deal. I'm going to try to get that here, maybe a few bucks each time I mention "Dave." Wish me luck.
So what has Farrah learned from "Chasing Farrah"? At first, she wondered why anybody would want to follow her 24 hours a day. Her life is not that interesting. Now when she watches her show, she realizes she's not normal. Like the time she was at her mom's house and the FBI phoned. Why would the FBI call her mom? She now realizes that's not too normal. But why would they call? Farrah says she put them on speaker phone and you'll have to watch to find out.
In conclusion, Dave tells Farrah that she likes her. "Actually, I more than like you. I just can't do anything about it."
"Chasing Farrah" - the season finale is Wednesday night, 10:00 on TV-Land, right after "Leave It To Beaver," just before "Three's Company."

Biff Henderson asked if he could have a few minutes to say something. We have time, so Dave throws it to Biff. We see Biff backstage.
Biff: "Thanks, Dave. Driving in to work today, I couldn't help noticing what a beautiful day it is, and it seemed kind of depressing to spend it all in this cold, dark theater. Here, let me show you what I mean." (Biff walks and talks as he strolls outside.) "See what you're missing? This is what springtime in New York is all about! The sun is shining, the sky is clear, the air is crisp. What more could you possibly ask for?" (Biff hails a taxi; gets in) "Gosh, it really makes you feel alive. It's rejuvenating." (the taxi cab drives off)
Says Dave: "I don't think he's coming back."

ACT 5: "It's time for 'This Date in Stock Footage History.' On this date in 1979, two men, Ian Clarke and Stephen Hall donned a camel suit at Sugarbush and made history." (we see two guys in a camel suit skiing down Sugarbush Mountain) "What the camera didn't show occurred moments later when the costumed men hit an ice patch and slammed into an oak tree. Mr. Clarke was killed on impact. He never lived to see the now famous footage. Unable to handle the guilt, the tragedy led Mr. Hall to a lifetime of drugs and alcohol and last November he took his life. This has been 'This Date in Stock Footage History.' Tell your friends!"

MARTIN FREEMAN: of the much heralded, "The Office" seen here on the BBC America. Not many here in the U.S. have seen the series but it's huge, really huge, in the U.K. The series consisted of only 12 episodes and one 1-hour special, but oh what fun those were. If you haven't seen "The Office" -- Britain's version, not NBC's -- get yourself right over to the DVD store and look for it. It's deliciously subtle. I don't mean to demean the NBC model. I haven't seen it but I highly doubt it will measure up. But then, even if it's only as half good as the original it'll be better by half than half of the shows on TV now. So why only 12 episodes? Martin says they wanted to get out before it got old. He then pretended to be glad the series is over. I liked Martin's manner of conversation with Dave, veering to slight yet delightful sarcasm when least expected, much his character Tim in "The Office."
Martin is currently in the film, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." He plays the character Arthur Dent, the last surviving human being who gets off the planet earth seconds before it explodes from some alien force. He then spends the rest of the film searching for the meaning of life. It opens this Friday, the 29th.

And that was our show for Monday, April 25, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Here's what I know about TV Land. It has "Leave It To Beaver" and "Green Acres." What could be better than that? I've been trying to get my girls off the "Full House" on Nickelodeon and on to "Leave It To Beaver" but so far, no luck.

Did you watch the Pope vote last week? Crowds gathered each day waiting for the smoke from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel. When the black smoke appeared on the first day, a huge roar could be heard from St. Peter's Square. Why a cheer? That was from the souvenir vendors. They had another day of sales.

I had to laugh each time the smoke appeared. No one could tell if the smoke was white or black. It reminded me of a cheap pregnancy test. "Is it black? I can't tell! I think it's white . . . . no, it's black! No, white! I can't tell! I don't know! Let's do it again!"

So, Ratzinger is our new Pope. And to think in my brackets I had him losing in the 2nd round

Naturally, New Yorkers are holding off their opinion on the new Pope until they hear what he thinks about a stadium on the West Side.

The Vatican chef is a real comedian. Every morning he says the same thing: "Eggs, Benedict?"

AMATEUR PROGRAMMER: I'm no network programmer but I like to play one in the Wahoo, so if I were in charge here at CBS and FOX decided they were done with "Arrested Development," I would grab it up in a split sec. I admit I've never seen the show but I like the commercials, the buzz is always great, and if my wife didn't hog the TV Sunday night for "Desperate Housewives," I would be a big fan.

I forgot to mention this last week. The Yankee/Red Sox game where Gary Sheffield went at the Boston fan for taking a swipe at him . . . . those watching at home missed it LIVE because the camera was on the guy jogging across homeplate on the extra base hit. While the real action took place in the outfield with an unknown outcome; i.e. how would Sheffield field the ball, we instead got a shot of the known, a guy jogging to home on an extra base hit. Thank goodness for replays to fix the director's error. As kids, we called this a "do over."

MAKING MONEY HAND OVER FIST - last week I asked where this came from.
Cleveland, Ohio's Sumath writes:

"The original expression was hand over hand, which was chiefly nautical and referred literally to rope work: climbing a rope, or pulling something in with a rope, would be "climbing it hand over hand," that is, with each hand brought over the other.

This was then extended figuratively to mean 'with continuous progress; with regular advances', especially as used of a ship chasing and gaining on another ship. From here it's a very small step to 'speedily; increasingly', the sense in "making money hand over fist," which is about the only way the phrase is found nowadays.

The form hand over fist, instead of the original hand over hand, is an obvious and natural variant (close your hand around a rope and you do, indeed, make a fist).

The literal use of hand over hand is recorded in English by the middle of the eighteenth century. The figurative use, and the hand over fist form (in all senses), appear by the early nineteenth century."

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
April 25, 1985 - For the 2nd time, Wayne Gretzky scores 7 goals in a Stanley Cup game.