AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL
A&S #1: Craig Rivela, Brooklyn, New York.
He’s a Red Bull salesman. Ooh, the Red Bull, the energy drink! I thought that stuff was ille! gal. After a few questions about the Red Bull, I sensed that Dave would be liking some of the “Toro de Rojo.” At this time I ran over to Rupert’s and grabbed me two cans. Running out of the Hello Deli, I yelled, “Rupert, I’m taking two Red Bulls!” Two steps onto 53rd I notice I have two cans of sugar free Red Bull. I run back inside Rupert’s and grab two more of the sugared stuff. I ran past two prop people who were on their way for some Red Bull as I made it back to the studio. I handed the cans off to Biff who eventually got them to Dave. I missed the rest of! Dave’s conversation with Craig. From friends I learned:

What does Craig have to show or tell? He has footage of himself covered in mud on MTV during Woodstock ’94. We see a clip from MTV’s coverage of the 1994 Woodstock festival. In the background covered in mud is Craig from Brooklyn. I have nice memories of Woodstock ’94. I came on board the LATE SHOW fun wagon during the music festival. Tony Randall visiting Woodstock happened my first week here.

At the completion of the clip, our friend Stephanie/Monty/Vicky comes down with gifts. Asks Dave, “Vicky, what do we have for our first Audience Show and Tell contestant tonight? Vicky replies, "Ho ho, Mr. Carney, it's a prize wonderland."
Dave responds, "Is that right? Tell us all about it."
Vicky is only too happy to. "We've got dinner for two at 21. We've got some music from the 'Late Show.' And we've got Explod-O-Pop."
Dave quickly adds, "Oh, America's only atomic popping corn.”
Dave thanks Vicky for her participation.
Vicky: "Thank you, Mr. Carney. You know, Mr. Carney, I was thinking about something. Sometimes, I think the contestants on 'Audience Show and Tell' are the luckiest people in the world.”

(I don’t know. Don’t ask.)

A&S #2: Jamie Casalease, Orlando, Florida.
Orlando! Says Dave, “Hey, that’s theme park country. Orlando’s got the Disney and Universal and monkey rasslin’.” Jamie agrees with Dave. And let’s not forget about Gator Land! Jamie sells pharmaceuticals. What’s that mean? Jamie says she visits hospitals and doctors and . . . . sell them drugs. Hmmm. Dave asks Jamie in confidence, “Do you think Levitra would be right for me?”

What does Jamie Casalease have to show or tell? Jamie has a photograph from when she met Michael Jackson. She admits that she and her friends look silly because they were in awe of Jacko. Dave blurts, “Wait a minute! YOU looked silly?” We take a look at the photo. Sheesh. Creepy city. Soon, Dave is handed a can of Red Bull. Ta da! From my hand to Biff’s to Dave’s. Dave drinks some of the Bull. He shares it with Jamie. There’s your pharmaceuticals!

A&S #3: Charles Odum of Athens, Georgia.
He’s a VP in sales and marketing in transportation. I don’t know; a used car salesman?

What does Charles have to show or tell? Good ol’ Chuck can shove an entire Q-Tip up each nostril. Ewwww. That’s gross . . . . and that’s why we saved it for last! Charles Odom performs his little stunt to the disgust of everyone. Hasn’t the guy ever heard of a tissue? Yet, his ability to do this got him an appearance on the LATE SHOW so who are we to complain? Congratulations, Charles. Hopefully you can use that wh! en marketing transportation.

Back from commercial, Dave billboards tonight’s guests: Paris Hilton and Supernanny Jo Frost. A Supernanny is more important than ever, what with our having to live in a “mysterious enigmatic world taken over by brats.”

An energized Dave revels over the Red Bull. It’s “chock full of steroids!”

TOP TEN: Thoughts Going Through President Bush’s Mind at This Moment
We see a clip of the President and Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah walking hand-in-hand from earlier this week at the Crawford ranch. The two got together to talk about oil production . . . and some nooky?
#10. “Wow, his hands are as soft as Rumsfeld’s”
#7. “Should I invite him back to the house to watch ‘Will & Grace’?”
#4. “Now Prince Charles it gonna wonder why I wouldn’t hold his hand.”

PARIS HILTON: She’s in the FOX series, “The Simple Life: Interns” with Nicole Richie. Dave’s been reading the tabloids and his curiosity has been piqued over the news of bad feelings between the two stars. What’s that all about? Why came between Nicole and Paris? Dave wants to know why Paris! had her kicked off the show. Paris is reluctant to answer but offers, “I wanted to make the show sexier.” My eyes widened. Oooh, this could get juicy. Dave doesn’t grab at the answer and digs more for clues to the feud. Paris repeats that she doesn’t really want to talk about it. Says Dave, “Well, you came to the right place.”

Dave doesn’t give up. Was it something personal? He then offers a guess as to what happened.
“You caught her stealing eye shadow.” “She did something wrong.” “She was stealing.” Paris will only say what happened is between her and Nicole. Dave can appreciate her request for privacy, adding “I pray to God it blows over.” He then reexamines Paris’ “I wanted to make the show sexier” line. Paris doesn’t bite, but mentions that Nicole has a new show she’s working on. Ah ha! So that’s it? Paris doesn’t say but I think that may be it. Paris will be shooting another “Simple Life” in Hawaii. With who? Maybe with Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod Stewart.

Dave asks Paris about the person who broke in and stole her cell phone or whatever he did. Paris says someone hacked into her private information on her cellphone and stole a lot of personal stuff. Detective Dave coyly asks, “It wasn’t Nicole, was it?” The exhausted questioner decides to go to commercial at this time.

Back from commercial, Dave wonders if she’s ever dated Brad Pitt? She hasn’t. Would she if he called? She wouldn’t since she has a boyfriend. But what if no boyfriend? But Paris HAS a boyfriend . . . and she has the picture to prove it. Dave pulls out a ph! oto of Paris and her boyfriend . . . Paris. Yes, they both have the same name, Paris. ; Isn’t that adorable! The photo was taken at Elton John’s Oscar Night party. Dave sighs the sigh of a middle-aged dad, commenting how he and Paris live totally different lives.

Did Nicole ever hit on Paris’ boyfriend? No, she’s happily engaged and in love with her fiancé.

We see a clip of Paris’ new film, House of Wax. It’s a remake of the original House of Wax but, as Paris says, this one is a lot hotter! Really! What can be hotter than Vincent Price? The clip shows Paris dancing in a red bra. The film opens May 6th.

ACT 5: And now a Late Show announcement. Looking for an energy drink that’s packed with steroids? Then do what Dave does, and drink Red Bull! Nothing quenches a thirst like Androstendione! Red Bull – available at fine stores everywhere.
This has been a Late Show announcement. Tell your friends.

JO FROST: She’s Supernanny. Supernanny is the new show on ABC and its season finale is Monday May 2nd. Dave has lots of questions for the Supernanny, now that he’s a dad. He’s concerned that his son could turn into a raging raving brat. How does that happen? Supernanny says children need love AND discipline and it’s up to the parents to supply it. Children need to be taught right from wrong and they are open to it. She describes the ! little ones as a blank canvas. I relay to those with me in the shack; “Tabla rasa.” Hey, when I can use my 4 years of college, I will use it. She adds that parents need to be consistent in their teaching and must have the strength to be consistent. Dave laments, “Parents tend to be idiots.” Supernanny says that’s a problem, since kids learn so much from watching the behavior of their parents. Dave caps the segment with the insightful: “The best way to make my son a better person is for me to make myself a better person.” You got it! Write a book, Dave, write a book!!

Dave closes the show admitting he’s a bit hopped up. He blames it all on that damn Red Bull.

And that was our show for Thursday April 28, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

After the show I’m thinking, “Sugar Free Red Bull”? I guess that’s so you don’t become energized when becoming energized.

Did you know there are two nanny shows on TV now? The other one is Nanny 911. I think I fell in to that one once. So all these years there are no reality nanny shows, then there are 2 at the same time. What happened? I did a quick Google and found this from the E! Online website from last July

“Hours after ABC announced its victory in a fierce bidding war for the rights to Supernanny, a U.K.-based reality show touted as an Extreme Makeover for woebegone parents, Fox said it's in final talks with Britain's Granada TV about launching the similarly themed Nanny 911.”

I’m working at my desk today and I hear on the TV behind me an Oprah promo:

“… And a story we have never done in 19 years . . . . what do you do when your identical twin has a sex change.”

My girls had some friends over the other day. I was snooping again, trying to hear what’s going on in their lives. My 9-year-old Dominique says to one of her friends, “When my husband is President, I will invite you to stay in the Lincoln bedroom.” She thanks Dominique for the invitation. I decide I must step in. I explain to Dominique that it doesn’t have to be her husband who becomes president; it could be her. “If you want to become president, you can!” I explain. Without looking up, she says, “I don’t want to be president. I just want to live in the White House. I’ll let my husband worry about wars and stuff.” I see what she means. I think, “Now THAT’S a success story . . . being married to the President.”

I’m driving to work this morning and this is what I notice: A lot of today’s new cars don’t have a key lock on the trunk --- unless it’s very well hidden. Do you have to open your trunk only from the inside now? I nearly rear-ended 3 cars today as I squinted over at the cars in the other lane looking for the key lock. I remember in an old Ford I once had where you would flip up the ‘R’ in FORD on the trunk to get to the keylock. Is that what’s going on with today’s cars? Are the keylocks hidden? Or have they gone away with the vent window? I guess this is progress these days; “improvements” that reduce our options? Sort of like what happens when the guy comes in to update my computer. Do the trunks on today’s new cars have a keylock?

THIS DATE IN NHL HOCKEY HISTORY
April 28, 1993 – New York Islanders beat Washington Caps 4 to 1 in playoffs, Caps Dale Hunter attacks Pierre Turgeon after scoring, in hockey's worst cheap shot