Buckle up. This is going to go pretty fast.

STUMP THE BAND - Paul playing Carnac.
PAUL: The answer: "Rafael Palmeiro and New Jersey Governor McGreevey."
Opens the envelope containing the questions: "Name two guys who lied about what they put in their ass."

STB#1: Lorrie Gall (spelling phonetically), of Cherry Hill, New Jersey. An elementary school music teacher. Does Paul remember any of his earliest songs? Yes, he does: "Oh, the Lovely Windmill."
What song does Lorrie have for us?
The Rattlin' Bog.
Paul says he knows it. To the tune of "Shake Rattle and Roll," Paul sings,
"The Rattlin' Bog
The Rattlin' Bog
The Rattlin' Bog
The Rattlin' Bog"

Nope. That wasn't the song. Lorrie sings her version and gets prizes. Vicki stops by and chats with Dave. She then shows off her new Rolling Backpack. When shown the adjustable handle, Dave says "you can use that to fix flats." She then calls Dave a jackass and off she runs.

STB#2: Fran Martin, from Elk Grove, Illinois. She's a gate agent for American Airlines.
Her song: "Derby Town"
Will, Felicia, and Sid say they know the song. To the tune of "FunkyTown, the trio sing:
"Won't You Take Me To
Derby Town
Let Me Watch the Horse
Ses Runnin' Round
I'll Take All My Pay
And Lay It Down
Let Me Lose My Ass
At Derby Town"

Close, but not a match. Fran sings her version and she wins stuff.

STB#3: Janet Dick, from Niagara-On-The-Lake, Ontario, Canada. She's a kindergarten teacher. Kindergarten kids can talk, are well mannered, and are toilet trained.
Janet's song: "Baby Beluga"
Will knows this one, seemingly quite confident.
To the tune of a blues number:
"Baby Beluga
Sweeter than Sugah
She's so big and fine
Down at the Seaside
I had to Decide
Whether or not to have a whale of a time
Legs Over Easy
She started to Squeeze Me
Said Baby Beluga
Maybe Some Other Time"

Good song. Wrong song. Janet then sings the very popular "Baby Beluga" that every parent and aunt knows. It's sung by Raffi, for heavens sakes. Plus, I heard Michelle singing it the other day on "Full House." I think Paul Shaffer, a father himself, was just being kind. I suspect he knew the song. And that was Stump The Band.

It's 94 degrees, time to spray pedestrians on Broadway. A guy starts to undress. Dave announces, "Remove all your clothing, please." The guy takes off his shirt. He takes off his shoes. Are his pants next? Nope. But another guy walks across the screen with his pants around his ankles. Why wasn't he arrested? Because nobody complained. And he didn't obstruct traffic. Follow those two rules and you can do just about anything in this city . . . except smoke.

Earlier during the pre-show Q&A, a kid asked if he could put away the Late Show Bear. Dave agrees, and lets the young lad be on his way. Biff shows him where the Late Show Bear likes to hang out.

TOP TEN: Signs You Have A Bad Travel Agent. Do you realize when Ted Williams hit .406 in 1941, he made out nearly 60% of the time. Well, the top ten tonight was an out.

Back to the kid and the bear. The kid is named Chris Roberts. We see a shot of Chris by the Late Show Bear's door. The Late Show Bear is nowhere to be found. After a few seconds, the bear charges through the door and attacks Chris. Chris fights him back and locks the bear away behind the door. Nice job.
Dave wonders why Chris didn't simply shut the door before the bear arrived. Oh, well. Tonight, the Late Show Bear was wearing a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup T-Shirt, another proud sponsor of the Late Show Bear. And how did we get the T-Shirt on the bear? We take a look.
Costume designer Susan Hum and Assistant Costume Designer Teresa Snider-Stein struggle to dress the bear in the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups T-Shirt. It reminded me of me when Denise tries to get me in a tie.

ROSIE PEREZ: How is she doing? "Much better now that I have the double stick."
Rosie got rid of her car. Dave asks, "Refresh my memory. . . what kind of car?" Rosie says, "A Twoopa." And who makes it? Rosie says, "Isuzu." There is a pause. Paul helps out. "And when you put both of those together . . . ." Rosie says, "An Isooozoooo Twooooopa."
We learn that Rosie has a sauna in her house. "My sauna is my bitch." She now owns a volvo. It looks like a squished station wagon. Dave asks, "Does it have front and side crumpled zones?" I "Played the Rosie" and said, "I hope not." Rosie didn't say it. I lost at "Play the Rosie."
Rosie then tells a story how she lost her keys to a rented Mercedes down a sewer. She didn't want to pay $450 to replace them so she tried to get them herself. The L.A. Fire Department drove by and helped her out. They eventually got the keys. The way I figure it, it probably cost the LAFD $1500 in time and effort to save Rosie $450. You can hear Rosie on the new Nickelodeon show, "Go Diego Go," premiering September 6th.

ACT 5: "Interested in taking your company to the next level? Looking to boost sales and increase awareness of your product or services? Consider sponsoring the Late Show Bear. It's the hottest trend in costumed-animal advertising today. If you think a Late Show Bear Sponsorship is right for you, write to:
I Want To Sponsor The Late Show Bear
1697 Broadway
New York, New York, 10019
As the Late Show Bear would say, "Grrrrrrrrrrrr!" You won't be disappointed."

DAVE MIRRA: He's the winningest gold medal athlete in X-Games history. The goes is "sick" in the BMX Freestyle! Totally rad. And . . . and . . . awesome! Ah, forget it. I can't talk "street." Dave was on our show back in 1999 doing jumps and stunts on 53rd Street. The clips from his most recent X-Games were pretty darn remarkable. Very cool. Growing up, we had nothing like BMX Freestyle ramps, except one summer when the town put the sewers in. There were a lot of dirt mounds behind Kaufman's and the Betz's. That was fun. Unfortunately, I never realized there was a future in that.
Is BMX Freestyling dangerous? Dave has been pretty lucky with the bones but he has lost his spleen.
Dave the host raves about the X-Games and is fascinated with the many thrilling events. Some of these X-Games events have actually graduated to the staid Summer Olympics in 2008. Huh. Was there really a summer Olympics last year? Why do I have a clearer memory of the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico than I do of the 2004 Summer Olympics in . . .in . . . I can't remember?

And that was our show for Thursday, August 11, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Here's what I'm hoping for the New York Yankees. I hope they make the playoffs via the wild card. Their starting rotation would be Aaron Small, Shawn Chacon, Scott Proctor and Chien-Ming Wang. I've always been a Yankee fan, but this would make it fun to root for them again.
This Yankee fan from Armonk in Westchester County who jumped from the upper deck was described in the local paper by a neighbor as a teen who got "caught up in the moment", and one who has a "zest for life." I laughed. I then wondered how a kid from a Bronx neighborhood, a neighborhood that the Westchester County residents used to live in, would be viewed if he tried the same thing. They would want the kid jailed and question his parenting.
Steinbrenner's reaction to the kid who jumped from the upper deck: "Can he pitch?"

REVISITING OLD TOPICS
Shelby Beil of Tulsa, Oklahoma:

"I know you've moved on to new topics, but I thought of a phrase that confused me longer than I care to admit. For a very long time I thought that making 'ends meet' was making 'ends meat'. As if 'ends meat' was a really cheap cut of meat (the 'ends' of a cow?). In my mind, if you were making 'ends meat', then you were making just enough money to buy this mythological poor man's steak."

"I bought numerous slide trays, 35mm slides and slide projectors off of ebay. Some of the cartons for the slide trays have price tags on them from Korvettes $2.29. I never heard of Korvettes being I'm from the southern and western states. So I looked it up in a search and found this discussion board shown below. Inside these cartons and slide trays tipping to the tune of almost one thousand pictures on 35mm slides taken from the 50's all the way up to the 80's with various families who may not be related to each other. Don't know why someone would sell them on ebay but I also noticed pictures of structures, homes, stores, vacations, families, birthdays, cemeteries, headstones, graduations and so on. Some of the pictures are of Canada and have last names to go with them. Such as a last name on a family camper from Canada. If my geography is correct ALL photos are east of the Mississippi River and most likely the east coast area."

Mark Henderson of East Windsor, New Jersey:

"Down at the Forbes Gallery (a great little museum at Fifth Avenue & 12th St., and it's free!), they have (or at least used to have) the actual letter that President Nixon signed when he resigned. It originally read 'I, Richard Milhous Nixon, hereby resign the Office of the President of the United States.' He then crossed out his name in that sentence, since it would be redundant when he signed his name below."