During the Preshow Q&A, a guy in the audience asked if he could get a photo with Dave. Surprisingly, Dave invited him up after the monologue. Unfortunately, the guy didn't have his camera set up to go, plus he hammed it up a bit too much. I'm not sure but I wouldn't be surprised if all that "magically disappeared" after the show's taping.

Good news! Last night at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, the Late Show won an Emmy Award for "Outstanding Technical Direction, Camerawork, and Video For A Series." Congratulations to our technical crew!

Late Show With David Letterman - #2269 - CBS
Worldwide Pants Inc.
Timothy Kennedy, Technical Director
William White, Senior Video Control
Dan Campbell, Video Control
Al Cialino, Camera Operator
David Dorsett, Camera Operator
Karin-Lucie Grzella, Camera Operator
Jack Young, Camera Operator
John Hannel, Camera Operator
John Curtin, Camera Operator
George Rothweiler, Camera Operator
Dan Flaherty, Camera Operator
Fred Shimizu, Camera Operator
Steve Kaufman, Camera Operator
Joe Debonis, Camera Operator
Claus Stuhlweissenburg, Camera Operator
John Pry, Camera

Show #2269 was the Bandaloop show.

Dave says the technical aspect of the show has never been a problem. It's everything else. Paul adds with a laugh under his breath, "Like content."

Safety first. Tonight, putting away the Late Show Bear is Emmy Award-winning technical director Tim Kennedy. Tim fights off the beast with his Emmy trophy. The Late Show Bear is backed into his den and Kennedy slams the door shut tight. We are safe.
Sponsoring the Late Show Bear tonight: Corona Extra. "Corona: Miles Away from the Ordinary."

Did you read about this controversy at a restaurant in China? They claimed to serve Tiger meat. Turns out, it wasn't tiger meat. We take a look at what Dave's talking about.
Announcer:

"Authorities have learned a restaurant in China that was claiming to serve tiger meat was actually serving donkey meat . . .soaked in tiger urine. Remember, if you want real tiger meat . . . . you gotta go to Arby's! And for just 89 cents more, we'll throw in a cup of tiger urine! Arby's, serving tiger meat since 1992!"

"Today on 'Martha!', 'Desperate Housewives' star Marcia Cross stops by, a dinnertime visit to the home of two fans, and Martha is thrown back in the hole after she violates her parole by handling a deadly weapon. Don't miss 'Martha!'. . . just as soon as she returns from a brief sabbatical."

"President Bush is serious about the hurricane relief. He is sending 5 million gallons of water, 1,000 tons of food, and 25 pounds of fat. George W. Bush - Back on message!"

WHO SAID IT?
1. "You tried to take me down, and now I will may you all pay!" Who said it?
Paul believes that was said by Osama bin Laden.
Dave: No, Martha Stewart.

2. "I want to see the 'Corpse Bride.'" Who said it?
Paul: "A moviegoer?"
Dave: "No. Robert Blake."

3. "This is an utter failure. We need to end it and let these boys go home." Who said it?
Paul: "An opponent to the war?"
Dave: "No. Kansas City Royals manager Buddy Bell.

Skipping one, Dave goes to the next.

4. "I must put a stop to these gay marriages."
Paul: "Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, vetoing the gay marriage bill?"
Dave: "No. Liza Minnelli."

Skipping a bunch, Dave decides to end on this one.

5. "You can save by pumping your own."
Paul: "A gas station attendant?"
Dave: "No. The hookers in Times Square."

Dave is excited about the upcoming schedule. Next Monday is Martha. And this Thursday is Ted Turner. Dave takes a closer look at his blue card and says with a tad of disappointment, "Oh, I'm sorry, that's Ike Turner."

TOP TEN: Signs Your Kid is Working with Al-Qaeda - some bratty kid from Orange County, California has gone to the other side and has joined up with the Al Qaeda.
#7. Keeps mocking you for having only one wife.
#5. You're getting gas for 12 cents a gallon.

DR. PHIL: Dave recaps Dr. Phil's career.
1. Started doing segments on Oprah.
2. Then started doing it once a week.
3. Then got his own show.

How many shows does he do a year? Dr. Phil says "175." Dave? Dave says without a blink, "We do 240." It's all in the delivery.

Over the summer, Dr. Phil and the family went on vacation on a private cruise. Took a yacht on the French Riviera, went to France, went to Italy. Dr. Phil says, "You know those little villages that look so quaint from the boat? When you get up close they're nothing but flea markets." The family then went to a resort that had a pool where everyone was naked, smoking dope, snorting cocaine. . . and having the sex. Dr. Phil felt very out of place, like the Beverly Hillbillies hanging out by the Cement Pond. Phil's son defined it, "This is the worst place to go with your parents."

Dave asks the good doctor if he ever gave advice, the patient followed it to the letter, but the results didn't quite work out right. Dr. Phil won't admit to it, but does say he mostly gets in trouble for people misquoting him. Many times he will be stopped in the street and someone will complain that he said something on his show that's has ruined the guy's life. When Dr. Phil asks what he said, the guy will totally misquote what was said on the show. I'm guessing it's like the game of telephone. Often times a person will be given the advice, "Do everything your husband wants you to do," but the person will hear, "Do nothing your husband wants you to do."

Dave has a situation with his son which he hopes Dr. Phil can shed some light. Dave's son Harry, soon to be 2, has started hitting people in the head for no reason. Dave says he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, not wanting to reward the child with attention, but feels he should address the behavior. Dr. Phil explains quite clearly, "You have to tell him, 'No.'" Dave takes a pencil and writes down the keen advice. Dr. Phil also mentions that as the child gets bigger, older, and stronger, the parent gets smaller, older and weaker. He says you got to be firm with the child and adds with wisdom, you "got to get the bluff in when you can." Dave thanks Dr. Phil for the advice.
Dave has something else he wants to add. Maybe it's significant to the above. Dave explains that when Harry turned 1, Dave taught him the game, "Smack Daddy's Head." Could this game have led Harry to his behavior of hitting others in the head? Dr. Phil says that there is a good chance that the game did lead to Harry's hitting in the head behavior. Dr. Phil asks Dave if he tells his son "No" or if he has his "people" talk to him. Dave laughs and admits he has his office do the deed.

Dr. Phil then asks, "Have you married your baby's mother yet?" Phil then offers Dave the opportunity to get married on his show. Dave isn't so sure about that. Dave counters with getting married on Oprah and having the reception on Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil isn't too keen on that. Dave's final offer: Married on Oprah; Honeymoon on Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil REALLY isn't keen on that.
Be sure to watch Dr. Phil on Wednesday. He'll have 1,000 women on the show with the same problem. Dave tries to guess the topic by Dr. Phil ain't saying. You'll have to watch.

ROGER FEDERER: the 2005 U.S. Open Men's Champion. He defeated Andre Agassi in the finals on Sunday, a match that doubled last year's viewing audience. Dave mentions that, understandably, Andre was the sentimental favorite in the finals. Roger says he expected that but was surprised at how much he WAS the sentimental favorite. What does Roger think of Agassi still playing at a championship level at the age of 35? Roger isn't too happy about it, nor or the other players on the tour. They all have in their minds retirement at age 31. Now with Agassi still going strong at 35, 36, that means they may have to continue playing to that age, putting off retirement for another 5 years.
Roger is only 24 but has already won 6 Grand Slam titles. Some are calling him the greatest tennis player of all time. That's pretty heady stuff, and Roger advises to put off that title for another 10 years. Then you can look back and decide.
Roger grew up in Switzerland and has always loved racket sports; tennis; ping pong; squash. He was always playing against some wall of the house, creating a constant bang bang bang bang. His mom always got angry, but as Dave points out, she probably understands now and is more accepting.
At one time, Roger was a real hothead on the court, known to throw a racket when things didn't go his way. What changed him? After one match against Marit Safin where they both were throwing their rackets and tantrumming, Roger saw a replay of the match. He was embarrassed by his behavior and decided to rein in his outbursts. It seems to have worked.
We get a look at the very impressive U.S. Open trophy. We should have had him put away the Late Show bear with it.

Afterwards, Dave says if Roger Federer keeps winning, he's going to add another 'er' to his name.

ACT 5: It's time to announce the winner of this month's 'Late Show My Stain Looks Like A Celebrity' Contest. This month's winner is Nina Caroles of Brookline, Massachusetts. Nina wins because her mildew stain looks exactly like 80's heartthrob Anthony Michael Hall. Congratulations, Nina. This has been the Late Show 'My Stain Looks Like A Celebrity" contest. Keep it real, America.

And that was our show for Monday, September 12, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Well that didn't take long. I'm watching some college football the other day, Pittsburgh vs. Ohio. 30 seconds after I turn the game on, the Pittsburgh Panther QB throws an interception and the other team runs it back for a touchdown. The Pitt coach on the sideline is not too pleased and is filled with anger. The QB is not too pleased and is downcast. I wonder what their meeting will be like when the QB gets to the sideline. We see the dejected QB walking off the field. Then we get a good minute of crowd reaction. No shot of the QB, just jubilant fans in the stands. Watching hours of sports in my day, I've learned that one happy, cheering crowd looks exactly like the next. Why do directors show us shots of the crowd and not of the story unfolding down on the field? I've asked myself this hundreds of times and I think I've finally come up with the answer. Directors view the game as a spectator. I view the game as a participant. The Director pictures himself sitting in the stands. I view myself as the QB. I want to know what the quarterback or running back is doing. The director wants to know what the spectator is doing. And if they don't want to know what the spectators are doing, they want to know what the coach is doing.

And on Sunday, I was clicking from the Jet game to the Yankee game to the IRL race. During the race, ABC had side-by-side commercials for many of the products being promoted. Covering 2/3 of the screen was the product commercial, and the smaller portion of the screen was dedicated to the race going on LIVE. What a good idea. But then with about 25 laps left in the race, IRL and ABC promotes their next televised race . . . on full-screen. They took us away from the LIVE action. To promote racing, they took us away from racing. Why would ABC and the IRL do that? Why not "side-by-side" it like the other commercials? Odd.
I know a lot of you don't go for the sports talk in the Wahoo, but these are TV production issues, not sports issues.

I'm watching the U.S. Open on Friday. A commercial comes on. It's shots of Paul McCartney with his music underneath. He's hawking a commercial for Fidelity Investments. Sheesh. Does he really need the money?
And another thing about the U.S. Open..these women who grunt on every shot...they are missing out on a surefire way of making some big bucks. Instead of yelling "UGGGHHH!" on every serve, forehand and backhand, they should yell "MCDONALDS!" Imagine hearing "McDonalds" 500 times during a match. How much do you think McDonald's would pay for that?

SODA VS. POP - Where does soda stop and pop start? In an exhaustive Wahoo survey, I hope to shed some light. The responses were plentiful. I wasn't planning on typing up all of them but once I started, I didn't think it fair to leave anyone out.
Here in the New York Metro area, it's soda.
I was talking to two Canadians in the elevator the other day who call it "pop."

Wayne Chow of Toronto, Ontario:

"It's been 'pop' in Toronto all my life..."

"I spent my formative years in Western New York (Niagara Falls / Buffalo
area). We drank pop there. Then I moved to Vermont, where people drink soda. After 20 years, I'm still not completely comfortable calling it soda, so I often use the generic "soft drink" (which I don't really like either, but at least people know what you mean).

"Pop or soft drink. NEVER soda."

"Back in North Carolina, where I am originally from, we just called it a Coke or Sprite or Dr Pepper or whatever the hell we wanted to drink (hopefully not R.C.). 'Soda' was clear bubbly water that adults mixed with Scotch. 'Pop' was a euphemism for intercourse as in, 'I want to pop that chick.'
I worked as a 'gofer' one summer for a local law firm, and every day one attorney, who had a thick southern drawl, would send me out for lunch with this order, 'Gofah...go fer my lunch. I wanna cheeburgah, a pack of Nabs, a Co-cola and two seegars.' Every friggin' day and no tip."

"When i was a kid growing up in beautiful down town Burbank, all sodas were 'Cokes'. It didn't matter what brand or flavor.....we would even ask the servers, 'what kind of cokes do you have?' Now my kids call them sodas. I guess they are smarter than we were."

"Here in Oklahoma I've always heard it said that we are going 'out for a coke', regardless of whatever the specific soft drink that actually is consumed. It's like saying 'I need a kleenex' instead of 'a (generic) tissue.' Also uses the lower case like catholic (for the community of christian believers) vs. Catholic (for the members of the Holy Catholic Church)."

"This is regarding your question about 'What do you call soda?' It's called 'pop' here in Minneapolis, too. Up until about 20 years ago I didn't even know that was a regionalism, and since then I've always believed it was strictly a MINNESOTAN regionalism. But then I read today's 'Wahoo Gazette'..."

"Some call it soda others pop but I noticed that in south Texas and in my household at least it is referred to as COKE. Even if we do want a Coca-Cola. We call pepsi coke. It has become a generic term for all soda-water."

"It was 'soda' when I lived in the Chicago area and the St Louis area. I came to Iowa in 1970 to go to college and it's 'pop' here. I have no idea why. Maybe Iowa was 'pop'ulated primarily by Canadians. Or vice versa.
The cans used to say 'soda' on them. I pointed that out to my new Iowa friends back in the early 70s. They didn't care.
The only can I have here at work to check to see if that's changed is Cream Soda, so that's not going to work. Although it makes me wonder why they don't call it 'Cream Pop' here. That would be pretty funny. And would make me feel kind of sleazy to be drinking it."

"For some reason, the phrase "tonic" is used here in Massachusetts."

I call it Coke in Austin, TX.

"Chicago is Pop Always has been always will."

It's POP in Minnesota (which is correct as far as I'm concerned) but 'soda' in Wisconsin -- and in Paris. Interesting note: a drinking fountain is called a 'bubbler' in Milwaukee. So much for the upper midwest!

Here in Oklahoma (and the majority of the Southwest) we call it coke, no matter what brand or flavor. Whether you specifically want Coca-Cola, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, or whatever, it's just coke in the generic sense.

"In northern Wisconsin, it's called 'pop' in southern Wisconsin, it's called 'soda'. We also have conflicting issues with 'bubblers' and water fountains".

"Ah, the classic 'soda' vs. 'pop' question. I say 'soda' since I grew up in NJ (near Philly), but here in OH everyone says 'pop'. I teach linguistics, and this is always the example to use to illustrate dialect differences.
If you're interested, there's a cool map for this at:
http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html

"All 'true' Texans refer to all soda, soft drinks, pop, etc., as 'coke' regardless of whether it is cola flavored. 'Do you want to go get a coke?' was a common question in my high school, even though we all got Dr Pepper once we were at the Dairy Queen."

"In the South, everything is a 'coke'. 'Do you wanna Coke?' 'Okay, what kind? Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Diet?'
If you were to say soda or pop down here, you instantly be recognized as a yankee!"

"In Japan (where I live), pop is often called 'juice.'"

And I just checked out the site recommended by Hope Dawson of Columbus, Ohio. It tells you just about everything you need to know about the use of soda, pop, and coke in the United States.
http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html

And what's up with Wisconsin? Bubblers? What's that all about?