AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL
1. Kathy Benet: Santa Barbara, California.
She’s here with her husband. Dave looks over to say hello to the husband. The husband remained seated, which prompted Dave to say with sarcasm, “Don’t get up.” And if he did get up? That’s right: “Sit back down.” What does Kathy have for us? A while back she and her husband went to see Kevin Spacey perform as Bobby Darwin as he prepared for his role in the Bobby Darin Story, or whatever that film was called. While Kevin was performing, Kathy screamed out, “Kevin, I want to have your baby!” Dave looks over to the husband and says, “Good news for you, isn’t it?” Kathy continued, “He walked over to me . . .” Dave interrupts, “I bet he did!” and offers to the husband, “Get out while you can!”

Anyway, when Kevin approached her she reached up and grabbed him by the leg. A person nearby snapped a photo of Kathy grabbing Kevin Spacey’s leg. What was her husband doing while this was going on? “He was trying to pull me back” admits Kathy. We see the photo of Kathy, Kevin, and husband. Singers . . . they get all the groupies.

Vicki comes down with the gifts for Kathy. She says to Dave, “Hello, Mr. Carney. This weekend I’m going to Alaska to visit my uncle.”
Dave: “Ah, Nome?”
Vicki: “Of course I know him, he’s my uncle!”
Fanfare from Paul.

2. Michael Chamberlain of Egg Harbor, New Jersey:
He lives about 15 minutes from Atlantic City. What’s he got for us? Some time back he heard that a film was shooting nearby and they needed extra extras. He signed up and got a part in Baby Boom. He has a clip. We see Diane Keaton entering a boardroom of 8 or so gentlemen. Upon entering, half the men stand as a sign of courtesy. We see Michael Chamberlain right there in front, half standing, half sitting. Great bit of extra acting!

3. Michael Lavery of Laguna Beach, California.
Ah, Laguna. Lovely town I hear. What’s he got for us? Michael can continually bounce a golf ball on the hammering-end of a hammer. Can’t be done. Can’t be done. Michael proves the contrary as he taps taps taps a golf ball with the hammer. Hmmm, looks like a fun activity at my next party. Yes, my parties are really known to swing.

Speaking of parties, in college we would talk of having a Mary Tyler Moore party. These are parties famous for being incredibly dull. In the very popular sitcom, Mary Richards was known for throwing parties overflowing with dull. Was this just a local description of a party, “A Mary Tyler Moore Party”, or was it a common pop culture expression at the time?

DOESN’T GEORGE W. BUSH HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?

TOP TEN: Good Things About Being an 18-Year-Old Mayor.
My info card: “On Tuesday, a high school senior in Michigan was elected mayor of his town as a write-in candidate, defeating the 51-year-old incumbent.”
I didn’t add the town or his name since that was already in Dave’s intro to bring out the mayor.
The intro: “Here to present tonight’s Top Ten list, your newly-elected 18-year-old Mayor of Hillsdale, Michigan, Michael Sessions.”

In fact, there was a question whether the mayor from Michigan would get here in time, as we contacted him only that morning to get him down here. We taped at 4:30 – 5:30. He was scheduled to land at LaGuardia Airport at 3:30. Would he get here in time? Well, a ride from LaGuardia to 53rd Street could take 15 minutes or it could take 2 hours and 15 minutes. It was cutting it close. Then we hear the flight is delayed and he wouldn’t be landing till 3:48 PM. If the 18-year-old mayor couldn’t get here in time, I thought Dave would do the top ten with some simple modifications to the list. I prepared a 2nd Top Ten info card if it came down to that.

Top Ten info card #2: “On Tuesday, 18-year-old high school Michael Sessions was elected mayor of Hillsdale, Michigan as a write-in candidate, defeating the 51-year-old incumbent.”

The Mayor got to the show during Audience Show and Tell. He was picked up at the airport by a car service. We had a producer in the car to travel with him back to the show. The writers were on the phone with the producer tracking their location. In the car, the Mayor rehearsed his lines. Some of the lines were changed during the drive over. When Mayor Sessions stepped on to the stage to do his Top Ten, it was the first time he saw the theater. He did a great job considering all he went through to get here and never before seeing the inside of the theater. Even when he have a big-time professional actor perform a LIVE Top Ten list, he or she gets to rehearse the list on stage before the show. Mayor Sessions did not have that opportunity. Nice job, kid . . . I mean, Mayor Kid.

GOOD THINGS ABOUT BEING AN 18-YEAR-OLD MAYOR
#10. Parents try to tell me what to do, I raise their taxes.
#3. School bullies now have to deal with the Feds.
#1. It’s flattering when President Bush calls me for advice.

STEVE MARTIN: His novella, Shopgirl, has been made into a film, now in theaters.

Has Steve ever ridden a motorcycle? He did for a scene in Little Shop of Horrors and admits it to being a bit of a horror. He hasn’t ridden a cycle since.

Steve recently was awarded the Kennedy Center’s Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, presented to an artist who has made a significant contribution to the world of American comedy. Steve was excited when he heard he was selected for the Mark Twain Prize until he learned that it was a look-alike contest. Still, it’s quite an honor.

Winning the Award was very special to Steve. As a kid, he remembers so often running home from school and getting all dressed up and playing “Kennedy Center Mark Twain Awards.” And of course this isn’t the first Award Steve has won. Steve lists his recognized accomplishments:

“In 1969, I won an Emmy award for writing on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and in 2005 I won the Mark Twain Prize.” He admits there was a bit of a dry spell in between.

And what else is new with Steve? He’s working on Cheaper by the Dozen 2. Dave asks what’s that is like. Is it tough getting up in the morning? How about the make-up? Lot of that? Is it hard to memorize all those lines? Steve is acting oddly disinterested in Dave’s questions, but Dave plugs on. Dave attempts, “Hey, you just celebrated a birthday!” Steve can only offer a tired “Oh, boy.”

Steve Martin was acting very odd. Dave wonders if he did something to upset him. Steve says Dave’s questions are kinda lame. He points out that it’s Dave’s job as a host to bring out the interesting stories from the guest. Dave’s questions aren’t coming close to that, according to Steve. Dave rebuts that it is a two-way street. It’s not all on the shoulders of the host; the guest has to put some effort into making the interview interesting. Steve accepts the challenge, declaring, “If it’s my job to be so entertaining, I can do it!” He calls for the raising of the curtain. We see a band of Gospel singers. Instead of Steve droning about what he is plugging and what he’s been up to, he’s decided to let the Steve Martin Gospel Singers do the deed.

STEVE MARTIN’S GOSPEL SINGERS CHOIR

There’s so much going on in Steve’s life.
He’s tired of describing everything…
So if you want to know all about Steve,
Just listen to what we sing…

Shopgirl’s out in theaters now,
Based on Steve’s novella;
Or plunk down 11.95 for the paperback
And Steve’ll be a happy fella

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 is coming out soon, And Pink Panther will play across the nation.
Plus he’s got several other projects he can’t talk about right now.

(DEEP VOICE GUY SOLO)
Because they’re still in negotiation.

The dude’s still playin’ banjo
And the New Yorker loves him, too.
If you ask him to say, “I’m A Wild and Crazy Guy”

(DEEP VOICE GUY SOLO)
There’s a good chance he’ll kill you.

(MEN SING)
In August Steve turned 60

(WOMEN SING)
He’s had botox galore

(MEN SING)
Flew to Venezuela for some cheek implants

(WOMEN SING)
To smile is quite some chore.

CHOIR
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Woman) Oh Yeah!
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Woman) Funny Funny Man!
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Man) Not to me
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Woman) Funny as he needs to be
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Man) He’s amazing in bed!
(Woman) That’s what they say!
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Woman) What a guy!
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
(Woman) That’s his story!
Steve Steve Martin that’s all you need to know
Steeeeeeeevveeeeee Martinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
He’s so young!
Yoooooouuuuuuunnnnnnggggggggg!”

ACT 5: Late Show Magic Trick, starring Stagehand Pat Farmer.
Pat: “I will now make this ordinary coffee mug hover in mid-air.”
Pat throws the mug into the air and we freeze the shot before the mug falls.
Announcer: “Amazing trick, Pat! You’re a regular David Copperfield. This has been a Late Show Magic Trick starring Stagehand Pat Farmer!”

This best part of the ACT 5 was keeping in the SFX of the mug falling to the ground.

PAUL AND PAUL TEUTUL JR: Ah, the Teutul’s from the Discovery Channel’s wildly successful American Chopper. It’s Dave’s favorite show on the TV. Dave thanks the two for allowing Biff and the LATE SHOW spend some time this summer shooting a bit for our show. Dave knows it must have been an interruption to their busy day. Junior begins to say it wasn’t so bad but the dad jumps in with, “It sure was, Dave.”

Dave asks about how they got started in American Chopper. Paul Sr. says he worked in the steel business but always had an interest in motorcycles. He would constantly grab his son to do work for him, taking him away from his regular paying job. Paul Sr. slowly expanded the motorcycle-building business and then it took off when it came to American Chopper. Dave loves the show and credits Junior with doing most of the work. He then points at the dad and says, “It seems like on the show that YOU do nothing.” This brings a big smile to Paul Junior who claps his approval. Paul Sr. often goes nuts on the show, always barking at how much they are behind schedule. Pauly likes to punch those buttons he knows will make his dad got even more nuts. Hey, it’s what sons are supposed to do. Dave wonders about their shop in Orange County in upstate New York, asking if he could just go up there and pick out a bike. Dad quickly jumps in, “You would have to put some money down first!” Dave knows that, but is just asking if they have a lot of bikes on hand in inventory. Paul Sr. doesn’t really care what the question was; he just wants to make sure that Dave knows if he wants a bike he’ll have to plunk down some money first. Dave repeats that he understands that, but also lets it known that he would expect some kind of deal. “I’m not paying sticker” Dave exclaims.

Out on Broadway is Mikey. He’s another son of Paul Sr. His job isn’t well defined on the American Chopper show. Paul Jr. says it’s Mikey’s job to keep things under control. When it looks like Paul Sr. is about to decapitate Paul Jr., and vice versa, Mikey will say something that will make everyone laugh and bring things back to a calmer level. Mikey is standing with 4 bikes recently built by the American Chopper team. We learn that Mikey only recently got his driver’s license. He says he needed one when the show recently went to Europe to tape episode of the show. American Chopper is a bit hit over there as well. Why the need for a license in Europe? Mikey says he heard that “if you are caught driving a motorcycle in Europe without a license, they . . . they . . . they chop off your penis.” Hmmm, sounds effective. Dave has Mikey hop on one of the bikes and take it for a ride down Broadway. And away he goes.

American Chopper on the Discovery Channel – Monday nights at 10:00 PM and repeated throughout the week.

To close the show, we see Steve Martin also riding a bike down Broadway. No, not a motorcycle, but a baby blue Schwinn bicycle. And that was our show for Thursday November 10, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

Good show. Lots involved tonight.

In Friday morning’s papers, I read where some of the write-in votes for the teen Mayor have been thrown out. As of 11:00 AM, he is leading by 2 votes. Hmmm, we may have to have the 51-year-old Mayor on next week.

After reading this morning what Pat Robertson had to say, I decided to reread Genesis 18:16-33.

Those who know me know how much I hate crowd shots when I’m watching a sporting event on TV. You know how much I scream at the director when the TV shows some yahoo in the stands while something interesting is taking place down on the field. You also know how much I admire NY Post sports columnist Phil Mushnick. Here’s why. This was in his NY Post column today:

“If only TV people stopped long enough to learn great lessons, there was one to be learned this past Sunday. With 1:46 left in Chargers-Jets on CBS, Wayne Chrebet caught a pass near the Chargers' 10-yard line. With the Jets down by five, many to most directors would have quickly called for a crowd shot.

And what could we expect to see from Jet rooters? Rooting. For all such a shot would have been worth, it may as well have been file footage.

But director Bob Fishman avoids crowd shots, always has. He's of a mind that it's nonsensical to force a TV audience to watch people watching the game that the TV audience tuned in to watch. Imagine that.

So after Chrebet made the catch, Fishman didn't cut to the crowd, he went with a live close-up of Chrebet's face. And Chrebet, because the back of his helmet had smacked the ground, was seen blinking slowly and blankly, having suffered yet another concussion.

This shot was an all-time grabber, a no-words-needed tale-teller, the kind of live TV that, having seen it, you'll never forget. But under normal circumstances, it would have been lost to a shot of a guy in the stands, preferably one wearing a silly hat and face paint, someone dressed to catch the attention of the TV director. “

This weekend at the Lafayette Theater in Suffern, New York is the SALUTE TO FILM PRESERVATION. Here’s what they are offering:

November 12 & 13
THE SALUTE TO FILM PRESERVATION
An incredible two-day festival honoring the heroic efforts made by film archives around the world to preserve our motion picture heritage, highlighting films made with different filming technologies, including silent cinema, two-color and three-strip Technicolor, SuperCineColor, and even 3-D!

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12
12:45 pm - ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET CAPTAIN KIDD
(1952, directed by Charles Lamont, starring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello and Charles Laughton) The East Coast Premiere of the newly created UCLA Film & Television Archive print from the original SuperCineColor elements. Featuring a personal appearance and Q & A with Lou’s daughter Chris Costello, moderated by Bob Furmanek & Ron Palumbo (authors of “Abbott and Costello in Hollywood”), in cooperation with the Fort Lee Film Commission.

3:30 pm - DOCTOR X
(1932, directed by Michael Curtiz, starring Lionel Atwill & Fay Wray) Presented in Warner Bros. vault print created from the two-color Technicolor materials.

7:15 pm - THE BIG PARADE
(1925, silent, directed by King Vidor, starring John Gilbert) Presented in a new restored print with color tints from Warner Bros., with live accompaniment by John Baratta on the Lafayette Theatre’s Mighty Wurlitzer Theatre Pipe Organ.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 13
1:30 pm - Bob Furmanek presents 3-D FOLLIES
A selection of unique and rare short subjects preserved by the 3-D Film Archive and introduced by 3-D film historian Bob Furmanek. Presented in the miracle of perfected double-system polarized 3-D.

3:30 pm - A STAR IS BORN
(1937, directed by William A. Wellman, starring Fredric March and Janet Gaynor) Presented in a restored print courtesy of the UCLA Film & Television Archive created from the original 3-strip Technicolor negatives.

7:15 pm - Howard Hughes’ HELL’S ANGELS
(1930, directed by Howard Hughes, starring Jean Harlow) Presented in its full-length original version - complete with color sequences - with a restored print courtesy of Universal Pictures.

And that will be my weekend.

Friday is Veteran’s Day. Take a moment and thank a Vet.