" . . . and now, renegade house painter . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
Following the monologue, "Great Moments In Presidential Speeches"
Bush: "Uhhhhhm . . . . first I . . . . recognize . . .. .. a momentous time . . . . . . "

ACT 2:
Dave says when he was in high school and college, he liked to drink beer. So did his friends. But then his friends stopped, and Dave stilled enjoyed it. He saw Paul Newman in an interview say that he drank a case of beer a day. It was enough to inspire Dave to keep drinking beer. Dave first met Paul Newman years ago at a race in Arizona. Paul was a great driver and Dave realized that Paul Newman was not only a great actor and a great driver, but he knew too how to live his life, and he spent much of his life helping other people. Over the course of his life, Paul Newman raised and gave $250 million to charity. That's a quarter of a billion dollars. Paul believed what you need to do as a human is to take care of your fellow humans. His "Hole in the Wall Gang Camps" is a thing to behold. It takes a humanitarian genius to think of such a thing and then make it come to fruition.
-1982: Paul Newman co-founded "Newman's Own," a line of food products which started with salad dressing and now includes pasta sauce, popcorn, lemonade, salsa, cookies, and wine. Everything he made from "Newman's Own" went right to charity.
-1988: Paul Newman co-founded the "Hole in the Wall Gang" camps; residential summer camps for seriously ill children. The camps serve over 13,000 children every year, free of charge.

Paul once had a VW Rabbit. He had his "race goon buddies" put in a huge Porsche engine into it. It was a real "Screamer." If Paul needed a head of lettuce to go with his own salad dressing, he'd hop into his VW Rabbit and rumble and roar down to the market.
He phoned Dave one day and wanted to know if Dave would like a Volvo Station Wagon equipped with a huge explosive 302 V8 engine. He offered to build one for Dave. How could you say "no" to Paul Newman? Paul asked, "And do you want a puffer on that?" Of course you would want a puffer! Dave would take out that station wagon and whenever he would stop at a light, the engine would shake the entire car. People would step back in fear. Others would plead for a look under the hood. Many would take photos of the engine to show off to friends. Dave called the engine "like an atomic furnace." His Volvo Station Wagon could and would hit 170 mph. One night while driving it on the Merritt Parkway, Dave's girlfriend asked, "Do you smell something?" The only thing Dave smelled was incredible power. And then about a mile later the Son of a Gun burst into flames. As Dave puts it, "The puffer had let go and caught fire." Dave would have the thing repaired and repaired and repaired and repaired because . . . . only Paul Newman and Dave had one of these things. Dave still laughs when he recalls looking under the car at the exhaust system; it would always be a glow of bright orange heat.
And Paul was always very nice to us here at the Late Show.
We then watch a video montage of Mr. Newman's visits to the Late Show.
"Where the hell are the singing Cats?"
Paul Newman - "We were lucky to have the friendship with this great man."

ACT 3:
TOP TEN: Features of the Rejected $700 Billion Bailout
10. First 500 billion comes from Regis.
6. A billion dollars to rebuild the Mets bullpen

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS: From the CBS hit comedy series, "The New Adventures of Old Christine." It's a sitcom. You remember sitcoms, don't you?
Julia points out that not only is Newman's Own great for charity, it's also organic! It's a 2 for 1. And Dave mentions the Newman's Own Chocolate Chip Cookies. The cookies are currently under investigation . . . . . for being a mite too tasty.
Julia is aware of the brouhaha surrounding Dave and Senator John McCain and the Senator's last-second drop out as a guest last Wednesday. And it wasn't so bad that he dropped out, but that he lied about why he had to drop out. He said he had to rush back to Washington, when in fact he was right down the block in an interview with Katie Couric at the very time he was supposed to be here. To make things right, Julia scheduled an interview with Katie Couric at the precise time she was to be here at the Ed Sullivan Theater, and instead, blew her off to be with Dave. We show a LIVE shot of the CBS News studio. We see Katie Couric sitting in front of an empty seat waiting . . . . waiting . . . . waiting.
Julia spent her summer vacation with the family on a safari adventure in Africa. It was no Marriott, it was no Sheraton, it was no Motel 6 . . . . no, she and the family spent the vacation in a tent out in the wild. She questioned the idea after the guide offered this advice:
"no running" - running is not a good idea when you are not at the top of the food chain..
"use your flashlight liberally"

Julia imitates the sound she heard of a lion not too far from camp. It was not like the roar of the MGM lion, but more of the sound of a lion regurgitating. Julia was proud of her re-creation of a regurgitating lion and says it was the best she ever did.

If I was on the trip, I would have taken that sound as a big relief. A regurgitating lion is much much better than the sound of a lion whose stomach is gurgling. No, you don't want to hear the growling stomach of a lion. It's like when my Uncle Henry comes to visit. You always hope he just ate.

On the vacation, Julia confronted a scorpion, which she killed with her boot; a snake, which she killed with her boot; and fire ants that crawled up her leg. She had ants in her pants and needed to dance.

And she can be found in a recent "In Style" magazine as one of the few who get better with age. We see a photo of Julia from some years ago, maybe around 1987. Julia remembers the dress she was wearing in the photo as being one of her favorites. Unfortunately, her opinion of the dress hasn't held up over the years. And this always makes me ask, "What are we wearing today that we will cringe at years from now?" Uggs? Crocs? Tattoos? Oh, I hope it's tattoos. I really hope it's tattoos.

"The New Adventures of Old Christine" - Wednesdays at 8:00 on CBS.

ACT 5:
Announcer: "Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave welcomes Anne Hathaway, Executive Director of the United Nations World Food Programme Josette Sheeran, and musical guest The Virgins.
The Late Show! . . . . . crap I forgot to Tivo 'Two and a Half Men.'
We'll be right back."

ACT 6:
MICHAEL CERA
The young actor stars in the upcoming film, "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist."

In "Nick and Norah," the film did a lot of night shoots in New York City. Shooting at night in Alphabet City (that's Avenue A, Avenue B, etc on the lower east side), brings out the drunks and crazies. Rather, the drunks and crazies are always out in Alphabet City and the film crew was simply there in the middle of the night to witness them. You get a lot of people shouting out right in the middle of a shoot, and you can't physically make people leave. They live there. It's their home.
Michael was in the very successful "Juno" movie and is recognized more than ever now. Or, sort of recognized. People think they know who he is, but often are wrong. One time during a "Nick and Norah" night shoot in Alphabet City, a crowded car drove by and someone pointed at Michael and shouted, "Hey, that's Denzel Washington!" I wonder if Denzel Washington is ever mistaken for Michael Cera.

Michael has a steady who likes to leave sweet but silly and odd notes for him. She was with him on a movie shoot but had to fly back home. Before leaving, she left a note on the hotel bathroom mirror, "Would you still like me if I forgot to flush." Michael thought it was funny. But when he removed the note, he realized the maid had thought Michael had left the message for her. The maid left an answer on the back: "Maybe" with a grimace face.
I probably would have flushed without looking. My curiosity isn't that curious.

"Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" - it opens this Friday.

ACT 7:
PETE SEEGER: from his new CD, "At 89," the legendary folk singer performed "Take It From Dr. King." Very nice. It was cool to see Pete Seeger on our stage.

And that was our show for Monday, September 29, 2008.



Did you read the volumes of posts on the internets regarding Dave and John McCain? Yikes. I'm amazed at how many miss the point no matter how many times it is explained.

The following was written early Monday morning.
I know nothing about economic issues, and this question will make that apparent, but what would happen if we did nothing? No $700 billion bailout. What would happen? Would it mean there would be no money to borrow for us to spend? I guess if you follow the falling dominoes from there, the "demand" half of "supply and demand" would just about disappear. And without demand, there would be no need to increase supply and no use for those who sell that supply. That's a lot of jobs And I imagine a lot of investments and retirement packages will go kaput. I guess that answers my question.
All I keep hearing is the bailout must be made, and that if we don't bailout the banks, it would have catastrophic results. What needs to be spelled out to Americans is what are those catastrophic results and how would it unfold? And how specifically would it affect you and me. Once that is explained clearly, then Americans may get behind this bailout. And if they want to get Americans behind this, they need to get rid of the word "Bailout." You gotta call it something else, like they did with "collateral damage."

And if we do go forward with the bailout, none of that money can go towards the lucrative golden parachutes, unless that parachute has my name on it.

And what I would like to see are the CEO banking leaders who got us into this mess to make their plea for relief. I want to see them with hat in hand asking for a handout. Where are they in all this? Groveling, a bit of groveling is what I want.

After I wrote the above, I watched the C-Span as I worked. The bailout was voted down, and then later in the day I saw Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, and another guy speaking at a podium explaining why it was unfortunately voted down in a close vote, 228-205. Speaker Pelosi blamed the Republicans. Around 66% of the Republicans voted it down. I'm not sure if she mentioned that 40% of the Democrats also voted it down. If her Democrats voted for it, it would have passed. Some say many Republicans voted it down because of Nancy Pelosi's inappropriate anti-Bush partisan speech prior to the vote. Barney Frank correctly lambasted those who voted against the proposal because their feelings were hurt. Pelosi was wrong, and those who voted against the bailout simply because of her speech were also wrong and immature brats. And then another guy got up and spoke, patting his fellow Democrats on the back for voting "not as Democrats, but as Americans." Whoa! And that's special? Voting for the good of America rather than for the good of the Party . . . . is that so rare that it has to be commended? If so, then "Yikes!" And that explains why we are in the mess we are in now. Unfortunately, all politicians vote first for the good of themselves and their Party. If it's also good for America, well, then that's good too.
This is my proposal, and I admit it makes no sense. Once elected, politicians must drop their Party affiliation. They are no longer Republicans or Democrats, but Americans. Republicans don't sit over here and Democrats don't sit over there; they all have to sit and mix together.
Did I just embarrass myself by my uninformed thoughts?

And if the country is on the verge of collapse, a financial Armageddon, why is Congress taking the next two days off? I don't care if it is a holiday. Is time crucial in this matter or isn't it?

I was doing a bit of research on Paul Newman before the show. 10 Academy Award nominations; 9 for acting, 1 as a producer. He won an Academy Award for his role in the 1986 film, "The Color of Money."
His "Newman's Own" food line has raised nearly a quarter billion dollars for charity. His "Hole In The Wall Gang Camps" are world wide, serving seriously ill children and their siblings at no cost.
And then I browsed his military record. I found that Paul Newman served on the USS Bunker Hill in the spring of 1945. Hey, my Uncle Frank was aboard the USS Bunker Hill during that same time! I know a ship the size of the USS Bunker Hill has a population of a small city but I wouldn't be surprised if they knew each other. Here's why.
While serving on the USS Bunker Hill, the sailors were given chits, a kind of voucher, for ice cream and beer. Want a beer? Cash in your beer chit for a relaxing beer. Want ice cream? Cash in your ice cream chit for some ice cream. Well, back in 1945 my Uncle Frank McGrath didn't drink beer, but he loved ice cream. Word quickly got out that Frank had no use for his beer chits. Fellow sea mates would scramble to swap their ice cream chits for Frank's beer chits. As supply and demand has it, Frank was soon able to get 2, 3, 4, 5 ice cream chits for a single beer chit. Knowing Paul Newman's love of beer, I wouldn't be surprised if he heard of the beer chits on the black market and would be willing to work a deal.
Years later, my Uncle Frank would still smile thinking of all the ice cream he ate during the War.

Whenever I saw a photo of Paul Newman from the past 20 years, he reminded me of a soft comfortable old flannel shirt.

Dave has used this line some times before and I don't know if he was referring to Paul Newman when saying it, but it definitely belongs: Paul Newman: "Every woman wants to be with him; every man wants to be him."

We should all be more like Paul Newman.

And now it's time for "Late Night The Day They Were Born."
Michael Cera was born June 7, 1988. So, what happened on "Late Night" the day Michael Cera was born?

June 7, 1988; Late Night was mired in the 14th week of the writers strikes. The Late Night program from August 26, 1987 was repeated.
August 26, 1987; Late Night show #910. Guests: Rena Smaha and her Rhesus monkey Sandy and baboon, Max; Sean Young promotes "No Way Out"; Jerry Seinfeld. PLUS: Brazilian Coffee House delivers flam in honor of Brazil defeating the United States basketball team in the Pan Am Games. The flam is delivered by the tallest employee in the Brazilian Coffee House. A Top Ten list; "Top Ten Things Overheard In A G.E. Electric Research Lab. And What Is Hal Wearing.
OK, OK, here is that Top Ten list:
10. "Wow! Look at that stuff burn!"
9. "I keep forgetting, which is AC and which is DC?"
8. "Are you crazy? Do you know how much a recall would cost?"
7. "Whoops!"
6. "Watch what happens when I toss these bolts into the turbine."
5. "This is the episode where they almost get off the island."
4. "What we save on the radiation shielding, we can put into advertising.
3. "The new guy developed a new long-lasting, inexpensive filament. Kill him."
2. "The squid is no longer responding to the mind control! AAIIEEEEEE!"
1. "Here comes the tour group. Put your pants on."

And that's what happened on Late Night the day Michael Cera was born.

Much thanks to Mr. Donz Hollinger.

And now once again, another installment of "Late Night The Day They Were Born."
Pete Seeger was born May 3, 1919. So, what happened on "Late Night" the day Pete Seeger was born?
Uhhhh . . . . . . . . no.

Shana Tova!

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
The man is 50 today. Happy Birthday, Marc Kearsing
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com