DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Kate Walsh; Barry Sonnenfeld; and Darius Rucker. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; John McCain Presidential Material; reporters standing by; Dave visits with his accountant; McCain and the environment; and a Top Ten List.
" . . . and now, prominent local doctor . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: Monologue Joke:Sarah Palin is in Arizona preparing for Thursday's Vice Presidential debate. It's really helping her foreign policy. From her window she can see Mexico.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: something about "money in hands"
ACT 2:
It's something we call, "John McCain Presidential Material." We see President Bush in the familiar clip of his tugging on a locked door unable to exit. We then cut to Senator John McCain from earlier in the day finishing a speech at the Harry S. Truman Library in Missouri. He exits right, turns around and goes left, turns around again and goes right, and then is directed to turn around and go left.
When I saw that clip of McCain, my mind jump back a hundred years to the Sandy Becker Show: "Professor, professor, you forgot your book!" Why is that taking up brain space?
Dave's credo: "When public speaking, always try to go out the way you came in."
And just in case something big goes down during the show, we have reporters standing by. Standing by are Linda Watson and Gregg Thorn. We get a shot of the two reporters standing by. Where exactly are they standing by? Dave checks his blue card. It provides no information. All we know is that they are standing by at an undisclosed location.
Times are tough. The economy is in turmoil. And it's got a lot of people concerned about their money. Dave, too, is a mite worried that his finances may go gunny-sack or crater. With that in mind, Dave paid a visit to his accountant and brought along a video crew and his wife. Accountant: "Dave, I've been your accountant for a long time. I respect you too much to lie . . . . you're bankrupt. DAVE: "What!!" Accountant: "You lost everything in the collapse. Maybe if you were younger there'd be time to recover, but at your advanced age . . . . there's only one thing I can recommend."
(The accountant walks over to the window and raises the shade. He nods towards the window.) DAVE: "I'm not jumping out the window!" Accountant: (to Dave's up-to-now unseen wife) "Sorry. I tried." Dave's wife: (disgusted) "Fine. I'll just have to smother him with a pillow in his sleep." Exits.
Dave throws the blue card out the window and we once again here, "Come on home, son, it's suppertime," followed by the smooth song. Dave enjoys the melody, referring to it as evocative, provocative, soothing, and melancholy.
Every candidate claims they'll help the environment, but John McCain seems to have some ulterior motives. We watch a clip which may prove this point. Announce: "Our environment is too precious to be spoiled. If we want to leave a beautiful world for our children, we simply must cut back on energy use. So, John McCain is asking all Americans to turn off their televisions tomorrow night from 9 to 10:30.
I'm John McCain and I approve this message."
TOP TEN: Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Debate Camp.
Dave admits to hoping for something really weird to happen during the VP debate Thursday night; something we can talk about for the rest of the year. Dave is so excited about this, he says he feels like a kid on Christmas Eve. 5. "Can I just use that lipstick-pit bull thing again?" 4. "We have to wrap it up for the day . . . . McCain eats dinner at 4:30."
ACT 3: KATE WALSH: From the ABC program, "Private Practice." This is a "Grey's Anatomy" spinoff. In this medical drama, it's all about relationships. They don't even pretend to be anything like "Marcus Welby, MD."
Kate enters wearing a very attractive dress, though Kate has a lot to do with making it attractive. Kate is all aglow, having just celebrated her 1-year anniversary with a trip to Hawaii. Now that she's back in the 48, things haven't gone as well. Just last night in her hotel while taking a shower, she came face to face with a dangerous and threatening . . . . horsefly. It was so big it had a saddle. She tried to shoo it away but it flew down and bit her on the ankle. Kate screamed a muffled scream, not wanting to alarm the service lady maid making up the room. She wanted the maid to respond, but didn't want her to frighten her away. She shows Dave where she was bit and Dave takes his hand and traces down her leg until he feels the lump from the bite. Dave may have left his hand there a bit too long, but no one stopped him and Kate did not seem to mind. Continuing with the story, Kate grabbed a facecloth and whipped the horsefly, nailing it dead. But then the horsefly came back to life. Kate screamed again and whacked the stunned horsefly to death. The service maid lady opened the bathroom door and Kate frantically showed her the horsefly. Unimpressed, the woman shrugged and said, "Do you want me to call security?"
Dave shares his knowledge of horseflies, explaining how they have a saw-like mechanism in their mouth that latches onto you. They then secrete an anti-coagulant so they can freely such your blood. Kate did not want to hear anymore.
We then see two photos of Kate; one of her in a very tight dress at the Emmy Awards, and another for an upcoming book about Hollywood Pin-ups.
"Private Practice" -- Wednesdays at 9:00 on another network called ABC.
ACT 4: BARRY SONNENFELD: He's an executive producer and director of the ABC program, "Pushing Daisies." He won an Emmy Award for directing the pilot episode. He attended the Emmys with his daughter Chloe. Neither recognized the name "Barry Sonnenfeld" when the name was announced for "Outstanding Director." Barry was in a highly combustible state throughout the evening, especially when his category came up. He is relieved he did not make too much of a fool of himself, but admits the potential was there for a colossal freak out.
Barry then tidies up some topics that may have been left hanging the last time he was here. He says he suffered from "Psychological Testicular Cancer." He's over that now. The cure? To be told by a doctor that he doesn't have it.
And he brings up the subject of his mother being a photo-double of Vincent Gardenia.
What was Barry's childhood like? He was an only child of Jewish parents in Manhattan. His mother didn't know that she could love her son a little less. Years before Vietnam police action, his mom made him take up the French Horn. The reason for this was just in case there was a war and a draft. She felt that if little Barry knew how to play the French Horn and was then drafted, there would be a likelihood that he would be assigned to the Army band and not have to face action. She thought of this years ahead of time.
What does Barry think of the election? Barry tells a story to make a point. He says he won an Emmy Award because he had the good sense to surround himself with people smarter than he. He feels that being around smart people makes him smarter and makes him successful. We should vote the same way. When you have a choice of a guy who was the President of Harvard Law Review, or a guy who finished 2nd from the bottom in his class, or a person who went to 5 colleges . . . you should go with the smart guy. It'll make us all look smarter.
Barry Sonnenfeld's "Pushing Daisies" -- Wednesdays at 8:00 on another network called ABC.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late show, Dave welcomes Calista Flockhart; Bill Hader; and musical guest Lucinda Williams. The Late Show!
Get me an antacid; the burrito is backin' up on me.
We'll be right back."
ACT 7: DARIUS RUCKER: From his new solo CD, "Learn to Live," the former Hootie performed "Learn to Live."
And that was our show for Wednesday October 1, 2008.
Kate Walsh: "Private Practice" -- ABC, Wednesday at 9:00.
Barry Sonnenfeld: "Pushing Daisies" -- ABC, Wednesdays at 8:00
I wonder if Jimmy Kimmel was promoting the CBS Wednesday night lineup on his show?
I keep hearing that Sarah Palin may possibly be a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Shouldn't that be "a lack of a heartbeat away"?
Now that the "Late Show Fun Facts" has been made into a book, how about . . . "The Wahoo Gazette"! A book of the best "Wahoo Gazettes"! Of course, in order to prevent you from getting the "Wahoo Gazette" for free, I'd keep writing but I'd have to stop putting it up on the Late Show website.
The McCain team is a bit upset that the moderator of Thursday's Vice Presidential debate, Gwen Ifill, is releasing a pro-Obama book on Inauguration Day, entitled "The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama." Two things bother me about this:
1. The McCain campaign is just learning about this now. Nobody bothered to do a little research? She talked about this in a Washington Post article on September 4th. Or did they know it all along and decided to spring it out in the open the day before the debate?
2. Gwen Ifill didn't remove herself from consideration as moderator. Conflict of interest, you know. I imagine an Obama win would do wonders for book sales.
C'mon, Gwen, and all others involved, sure you may be true and play fair, but you have to admit there is a sniff of impropriety in the air with Ifill being the moderator. Why give the Republican supporters that excuse?
I was watching the 9th inning of the Brewers/Phillies playoff game Wednesday. The director goes to a high wide shot of the field near the completion of a Brewer double to put men on 2nd and 3rd. And in this wide shot we see the throw mishandled by the cutoff man enabling the guy on 3rd to score. I don't know if this was what the director intended, but it was perfect. In one shot I was able to see the ball thrown in from the outfield and the runners on the baselines. Perfect. Everything I needed to see was shown. It was as if I was at the game. It was as it should be. But I can't but wonder if the shot was a mistake. I can't imagine the director would knowingly go to that perfect shot. I hope this mistake becomes a trend. You can never go wrong by going wide.
To answer the question of so many, the song played under our Paul Newman tribute the other night: Rufus Wainwright -- "Hallelujah"
Ending world hunger is within our grasp. But what can we do? A special page set up especially for Late Show viewers to contribute is now online. Of every dollar, 93% goes directly towards food; only 7% pays for overhead.
www.wfp.org/lateshow
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He is way too happy over winning the Fun Facts contest and he needs to get a life. From Hopkins, South Carolina, it's Jim Westfall.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Kate Walsh; Barry Sonnenfeld; and Darius Rucker. PLUS:Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; John McCain Presidential Material; reporters standing by; Dave visits with his accountant; McCain and the environment; and a Top Ten List.
" . . . and now, prominent local doctor . . . . . David Letterman!"
ACT 1: Monologue Joke:Sarah Palin is in Arizona preparing for Thursday's Vice Presidential debate. It's really helping her foreign policy. From her window she can see Mexico.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES Bush: something about "money in hands"
ACT 2:
It's something we call, "John McCain Presidential Material." We see President Bush in the familiar clip of his tugging on a locked door unable to exit. We then cut to Senator John McCain from earlier in the day finishing a speech at the Harry S. Truman Library in Missouri. He exits right, turns around and goes left, turns around again and goes right, and then is directed to turn around and go left.
When I saw that clip of McCain, my mind jump back a hundred years to the Sandy Becker Show: "Professor, professor, you forgot your book!" Why is that taking up brain space?
Dave's credo: "When public speaking, always try to go out the way you came in."
And just in case something big goes down during the show, we have reporters standing by. Standing by are Linda Watson and Gregg Thorn. We get a shot of the two reporters standing by. Where exactly are they standing by? Dave checks his blue card. It provides no information. All we know is that they are standing by at an undisclosed location.
Times are tough. The economy is in turmoil. And it's got a lot of people concerned about their money. Dave, too, is a mite worried that his finances may go gunny-sack or crater. With that in mind, Dave paid a visit to his accountant and brought along a video crew and his wife. Accountant: "Dave, I've been your accountant for a long time. I respect you too much to lie . . . . you're bankrupt. DAVE: "What!!" Accountant: "You lost everything in the collapse. Maybe if you were younger there'd be time to recover, but at your advanced age . . . . there's only one thing I can recommend."
(The accountant walks over to the window and raises the shade. He nods towards the window.) DAVE: "I'm not jumping out the window!" Accountant: (to Dave's up-to-now unseen wife) "Sorry. I tried." Dave's wife: (disgusted) "Fine. I'll just have to smother him with a pillow in his sleep." Exits.
Dave throws the blue card out the window and we once again here, "Come on home, son, it's suppertime," followed by the smooth song. Dave enjoys the melody, referring to it as evocative, provocative, soothing, and melancholy.
Every candidate claims they'll help the environment, but John McCain seems to have some ulterior motives. We watch a clip which may prove this point. Announce: "Our environment is too precious to be spoiled. If we want to leave a beautiful world for our children, we simply must cut back on energy use. So, John McCain is asking all Americans to turn off their televisions tomorrow night from 9 to 10:30.
I'm John McCain and I approve this message."
TOP TEN: Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Debate Camp.
Dave admits to hoping for something really weird to happen during the VP debate Thursday night; something we can talk about for the rest of the year. Dave is so excited about this, he says he feels like a kid on Christmas Eve. 5. "Can I just use that lipstick-pit bull thing again?" 4. "We have to wrap it up for the day . . . . McCain eats dinner at 4:30."
ACT 3: KATE WALSH: From the ABC program, "Private Practice." This is a "Grey's Anatomy" spinoff. In this medical drama, it's all about relationships. They don't even pretend to be anything like "Marcus Welby, MD."
Kate enters wearing a very attractive dress, though Kate has a lot to do with making it attractive. Kate is all aglow, having just celebrated her 1-year anniversary with a trip to Hawaii. Now that she's back in the 48, things haven't gone as well. Just last night in her hotel while taking a shower, she came face to face with a dangerous and threatening . . . . horsefly. It was so big it had a saddle. She tried to shoo it away but it flew down and bit her on the ankle. Kate screamed a muffled scream, not wanting to alarm the service lady maid making up the room. She wanted the maid to respond, but didn't want her to frighten her away. She shows Dave where she was bit and Dave takes his hand and traces down her leg until he feels the lump from the bite. Dave may have left his hand there a bit too long, but no one stopped him and Kate did not seem to mind. Continuing with the story, Kate grabbed a facecloth and whipped the horsefly, nailing it dead. But then the horsefly came back to life. Kate screamed again and whacked the stunned horsefly to death. The service maid lady opened the bathroom door and Kate frantically showed her the horsefly. Unimpressed, the woman shrugged and said, "Do you want me to call security?"
Dave shares his knowledge of horseflies, explaining how they have a saw-like mechanism in their mouth that latches onto you. They then secrete an anti-coagulant so they can freely such your blood. Kate did not want to hear anymore.
We then see two photos of Kate; one of her in a very tight dress at the Emmy Awards, and another for an upcoming book about Hollywood Pin-ups.
"Private Practice" -- Wednesdays at 9:00 on another network called ABC.
ACT 4: BARRY SONNENFELD: He's an executive producer and director of the ABC program, "Pushing Daisies." He won an Emmy Award for directing the pilot episode. He attended the Emmys with his daughter Chloe. Neither recognized the name "Barry Sonnenfeld" when the name was announced for "Outstanding Director." Barry was in a highly combustible state throughout the evening, especially when his category came up. He is relieved he did not make too much of a fool of himself, but admits the potential was there for a colossal freak out.
Barry then tidies up some topics that may have been left hanging the last time he was here. He says he suffered from "Psychological Testicular Cancer." He's over that now. The cure? To be told by a doctor that he doesn't have it.
And he brings up the subject of his mother being a photo-double of Vincent Gardenia.
What was Barry's childhood like? He was an only child of Jewish parents in Manhattan. His mother didn't know that she could love her son a little less. Years before Vietnam police action, his mom made him take up the French Horn. The reason for this was just in case there was a war and a draft. She felt that if little Barry knew how to play the French Horn and was then drafted, there would be a likelihood that he would be assigned to the Army band and not have to face action. She thought of this years ahead of time.
What does Barry think of the election? Barry tells a story to make a point. He says he won an Emmy Award because he had the good sense to surround himself with people smarter than he. He feels that being around smart people makes him smarter and makes him successful. We should vote the same way. When you have a choice of a guy who was the President of Harvard Law Review, or a guy who finished 2nd from the bottom in his class, or a person who went to 5 colleges . . . you should go with the smart guy. It'll make us all look smarter.
Barry Sonnenfeld's "Pushing Daisies" -- Wednesdays at 8:00 on another network called ABC.
ACT 5: Announce: "Tomorrow on the Late show, Dave welcomes Calista Flockhart; Bill Hader; and musical guest Lucinda Williams. The Late Show!
Get me an antacid; the burrito is backin' up on me.
We'll be right back."
ACT 7: DARIUS RUCKER: From his new solo CD, "Learn to Live," the former Hootie performed "Learn to Live."
And that was our show for Wednesday October 1, 2008.
Kate Walsh: "Private Practice" -- ABC, Wednesday at 9:00.
Barry Sonnenfeld: "Pushing Daisies" -- ABC, Wednesdays at 8:00
I wonder if Jimmy Kimmel was promoting the CBS Wednesday night lineup on his show?
I keep hearing that Sarah Palin may possibly be a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Shouldn't that be "a lack of a heartbeat away"?
Now that the "Late Show Fun Facts" has been made into a book, how about . . . "The Wahoo Gazette"! A book of the best "Wahoo Gazettes"! Of course, in order to prevent you from getting the "Wahoo Gazette" for free, I'd keep writing but I'd have to stop putting it up on the Late Show website.
The McCain team is a bit upset that the moderator of Thursday's Vice Presidential debate, Gwen Ifill, is releasing a pro-Obama book on Inauguration Day, entitled "The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama." Two things bother me about this:
1. The McCain campaign is just learning about this now. Nobody bothered to do a little research? She talked about this in a Washington Post article on September 4th. Or did they know it all along and decided to spring it out in the open the day before the debate?
2. Gwen Ifill didn't remove herself from consideration as moderator. Conflict of interest, you know. I imagine an Obama win would do wonders for book sales.
C'mon, Gwen, and all others involved, sure you may be true and play fair, but you have to admit there is a sniff of impropriety in the air with Ifill being the moderator. Why give the Republican supporters that excuse?
I was watching the 9th inning of the Brewers/Phillies playoff game Wednesday. The director goes to a high wide shot of the field near the completion of a Brewer double to put men on 2nd and 3rd. And in this wide shot we see the throw mishandled by the cutoff man enabling the guy on 3rd to score. I don't know if this was what the director intended, but it was perfect. In one shot I was able to see the ball thrown in from the outfield and the runners on the baselines. Perfect. Everything I needed to see was shown. It was as if I was at the game. It was as it should be. But I can't but wonder if the shot was a mistake. I can't imagine the director would knowingly go to that perfect shot. I hope this mistake becomes a trend. You can never go wrong by going wide.
To answer the question of so many, the song played under our Paul Newman tribute the other night: Rufus Wainwright -- "Hallelujah"
Ending world hunger is within our grasp. But what can we do? A special page set up especially for Late Show viewers to contribute is now online. Of every dollar, 93% goes directly towards food; only 7% pays for overhead.
www.wfp.org/lateshow
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He is way too happy over winning the Fun Facts contest and he needs to get a life. From Hopkins, South Carolina, it's Jim Westfall.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Reporters Standing By • Dave Meets with His Accountant • John McCain on the Environment • Top Ten Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Debate Camp Read now
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